In my 20s I was looking for butterflies, rainbows and pipe dreams. I have plenty of friends who got married in their 20s and evolved with their partners. Listen, you have more energy to take on a project in your 20s, I just don’t have it in my 40s.

Here are my rules for dating in my 40s:

• My age range is 8 up and 8 down, I will date someone 8 years older or 8 years younger - any more than 8 years down and they don’t remember cassette tapes, and any older than 8 years, they might need tech support with their iPhone.
• I ask early on, is there anyone who would be upset if they found out you were dating me? Listen I was an accidental mistress 3 different times - after a while you know how to ask the questions that matter
• Integrity matters to me, what does one feel comfortable lying about? That will give me an answer.
• Can you communicate? I am too grown to be teaching someone how to use their words.
• Red flags, flares and  full fireworks -the bad kind- come out  when someone I am dating  mentions that every one of their exes is crazy - Homie, all of them? Cause at some point you are the common denominator - you likely made them that way.