TRIGGER WARNING: This is a Ha'penny Horrid 'Hursday episode. "Horrid" as in "horror." Thursday is the day we do all the grimdark, grisly, horrifying stories. If murders, war crimes, parricides, and other awful stuff are not something you are interested in hearing about, even 200 years later — feel free to skip this episode and circle back this coming Sunday for the regular Penny Dreadful Variety Hour, when this podcast will be back to being a bright, sunny romp through Penny Dreadful stories!

A half-hour- long 'Hursday Horrid Minisode IN WHICH —

0:03:45: TERRIBLE TIDBIT OF THE DAY for August 7:

• A melancholy account of a young girl who, convinced she would be happier in Heaven, murdered her baby niece, on Aug. 14, 1850.

0:05:10: THE TERRIFIC REGISTER:

• Story of a sailor who drew a knife and dove overboard to retrieve the legs of his dead mess-mate, which the shark had bitten off, and avenge his death.
• A summary of all the times, in medieval England, that a convict was sentenced to have a hand cut off.
• A slightly-less-horrid account of a child, thought to be dead, who revived on the mortuary slab.

0:17:40: THE CRIME, CONFESSION AND EXECUTION OF ROBERT EMOND, THE HADDINGTON MURDERER (a broadsheet ballad).

• Jealous and angry in the wake of a business setback, Robert Emond murdered his sister-in-law, then bludgeoned her daughter to death to keep her quiet. He was hanged for the crimes on March 17, 1830.

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Hop merchant: Dancing-teacher.
• Rum buffer: Jolly host.
• Tears o' the tankard: Strong ale.
• Scandal-broth: Tea.
• Cat lap: Tea.
• Scragging: Hanging.
• Kiddies and kiddiesses: Flash lads and lasses
• Sherry off: To leave, in a tolerable hurry. A corruption of "sheer off."
• Flats: Suckers.

• Chaffing: Talking and bantering while taking a glass or two.
• Knight of the brush and moon: Drunken fellow wandering amok in fields and ditches trying to stagger home.