A "spicy" (-ish) Tuesday Twopenny Terrible Minisode IN WHICH —

0:02:00: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 55:

• In which: The usurer, John Mundel, begins to realize that Sweeney Todd, the humble barber he has hired to prepare him for his visit to court, is the same man who pretended to be a duke and took him for £8000 with the string of pearls! What will he do? How will Todd get out of this one? We’ll find out today (but there's a pretty strong hint in the title to this episode!)

0:17:00: TWO SALACIOUS SALOON SONGS:

• "The Squire's Thingumbob and Kitty's Whatchamacallit," a frisky supper-club song from the 1830s, sung lustily by gentlemen when there were no ladies about. This rather explicit one describes the amorous adventure of one Squire Ticklecock with a friendly damsel named Kitty.
• "Rum Old Mog," a festive song about a spunky hard-punching doxy and her flash fancy-man. Loaded with flash terms (see below).

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a decanter and top off your glass, unload your stumps, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Hellcats: Women who hang out in gambling hells.
• Lively kiddies: Funny fellows
• Knight of the brush and moon: Drunken fellow wandering amok in fields and ditches trying to stagger home.
• Chaffing: Talking and bantering while taking a glass or two.
• Crib: House, room, or chamber (modern equivalent is "joint"). Originally and still also used to refer to a prostitute's bedroom.
• Cunny: 1840s slang for a lady's vulva. The modern slang equivalent is "pussy."

• Pippin: A funny fellow; also a friendly way of greeting: How are you, my pippins?
• Bolt the moon: Fly by night
• Beaks: Magistrates, law enforcement authorities
• The tippy: The very best

In addition, here are the flash definitions from "Rum Old Mog":

• Rum old Mog was a leary flash mot (wide-awake, on-the-ball underworld girl)
• And she was plump and fat (meaning pleasantly plump and buxom, not obese),
• With twangs in her shoes, a wheelbarrow too,
• And an oil-skin round her hat.
• A blue bird’s eye (bandanna pattern) decked her dairies (boobs) fine
• As she mizzled (hurried off) through Temple Bar
• Of which side of the way I cannot say,
• But she boned (stole) it from a tar (sailor).

• Moll’s flash man was a Chick-lane cove (Chick-lane was a street in the Smithfield neighborhood notorious for criminal activities)
• And he gartered a-low his knee,
• He was three times lagged (transported to Australia) and very near scragged (hanged)
• But he 'scaped it by going to sea;
• With his click (punch) in his fib (fist) and his ranting out
• In his 'Very prime taters' cry (he's a costermonger, selling baked potatoes from a pushcart)
• For the cove of the ken (landlord of the pub or saloon) he valied (cared) not,
• As he’d ridge (money) within his cly (pocket).

• 
  

• On a donkey they rode to a cock and hen club (a supper club where men and women ate, drank, and sang risque songs together)
• At the sign of the Mare and Stallion,
• There sure was such a squad ne'er to be had
• As Moll and her flash companions;
• But Moll being down to (aware of) some loving stuff
• 'Tween her flash man and Poll Sly,
• She peeled off her togs (stripped off her clothes), and when in her buff,
• She blacked the covess’s (woman's) eye.

• But a milling cove (prizefighter), a friend of Poll’s,
• Tipt Moll's fancy-man a blow,
• Which soon knocked up a general fight,
• O Lord what a gallows row! (A gallows row was a knock-down-drag-out fierce enough to get someone sent to the gallows.)
• Some had eyes black'd, some noses crack'd,
• And some had broken bones.
• But the row being over, they lushed in clover (the fight being over, they all relaxed and drank together)
• Then staggered to their homes.