Redefining Strength, Softness & the Right to Fall Apart

We glorify resilience but what happens when it becomes a mask we wear to survive instead of a path to true healing?

In this raw and revealing episode of Too Much Not Enough, Hannah sits down with Adam Kunder, former firefighter and founder of Resilient Ones, to question everything we think we know about resilience, emotional suppression, and mental health recovery.

After a decade on the frontlines, Adam began to unravel the cost of “toughing it out”, from moral injury and trauma to PTSD and nervous system burnout and internalized expectations that left no room to grieve, soften, or rest. Together, we explore the deeper layers of resilience as a survival mechanism, the hidden grief behind stoicism, and how true strength may actually look like falling apart to come back together.

You’ll learn:

✧ Why we need to rethink the traditional definition of resilience

✧ How the systems we work within may use resilience as a tool to avoid change

✧ The relationship between trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and burnout

✧ What softness, grief, and vulnerability can teach us about sustainable strength

✧ How to build proactive, whole-person resilience

✧ Why “falling apart” is not failure but often the beginning of freedom

Whether you’re a first responder, parent, high achiever, or simply someone who’s been carrying too much for too long, this conversation will remind you: You don’t have to be strong all the time. In fact, we encourage you to soften and see what happens.

You can find Adam Kunder on Instagram @adamkunder and learn more about Resilient Ones and the Momentum Method at www.resilientones.co

Send us a DM on Instagram with your biggest ah-ha moment from this episode - @toomuchnotenoughpodcast