If you keep trying harder in your marriage and she keeps pulling away, you’re not crazy — and you’re not failing. You may just be anxious attached, and she may be avoidant attached. That means the way you try to connect may feel like pressure to her, even if your heart is in the right place.

This episode breaks down 10 common things anxious husbands do that make avoidant wives shut down emotionally — even when the husband thinks he’s helping, loving, fixing, or reconnecting.

This is not blame. This is awareness. When you understand how your nervous system and her nervous system respond to love differently, you stop fighting the wrong battle and start leading with calm strength instead of urgency.

🔥 What You’ll Learn

-Why pursuing her harder makes her pull back faster

-Why your “we need to talk” feels like pressure to her

-Why she shuts down when you panic, over-talk, or chase

-Why reassurance never feels like enough (for you)

-How space feels like safety to her (not rejection)

-How to create connection that doesn’t feel like emotional weight

🕒 Chapters / Timestamps

0:00 Intro – You’re not wrong for loving her, and she’s not wrong for needing space
4:32 #1 – Needing to “talk now” when she needs space
9:15 #2 – Turning anxiety into urgency
14:02 #3 – Constantly checking if she’s okay
18:50 #4 – Treating every argument like a relationship crisis
23:30 #5 – Trying to “fix closeness” instead of respecting rhythm
28:18 #6 – Calling it vulnerability but dumping emotion
33:21 #7 – Being “nice” but with a hidden expectation
38:05 #8 – Asking for reassurance instead of self-regulating
42:50 #9 – Chasing when her silence triggers you
47:20 #10 – Building resentment when she doesn’t give back
52:40 Closing – She’s not avoiding you, she’s avoiding pressure

✅ Key Takeaways

She’s not pulling away from love — she’s pulling away from pressure.

You are trying to feel safe through closeness.

She is trying to feel safe through space.

You chase to calm your fear.

She withdraws to calm hers.

No one is the villain — but someone has to break the cycle.

💬 If this sounds like you...

You don’t need to “be less emotional.”
You don’t need to “stop caring.”
You need regulation before connection — calm before closeness.

That’s what creates safety for both nervous systems.
That’s what turns urgency into attraction again.

📞 Free 30-Minute Consultation

You can book a free 30-minute call — just a real conversation about what’s happening in your marriage, what you’re feeling, and whether coaching might help.
No pressure. No sales push. Just clarity.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

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