In this heartfelt episode, Cole James interviews Deborah Brown, founder of GIFTS (Grief Information for Teachers and Services), a UK-based initiative focused on supporting children through grief using the Grief Recovery Method. Deborah shares her deeply personal journey through grief, beginning with the death of her mother in 2013 and then her sister in 2016. Both losses were profound and compounded by the pressure to “stay strong” for her children, which led Deborah to suppress her own emotions and carry the weight of unprocessed grief.

Her turning point came after a colleague gently encouraged her to seek support, helping her realize that staying busy wasn't healing. That moment prompted her to explore resources, though she struggled to find a grief tool that actually helped—until she encountered the Grief Recovery Method. Deborah later became a certified specialist and began teaching the Helping Children with Loss course to educators, health professionals, clergy, and others who work with children.

Through her experiences, Deborah recognized that unresolved grief in children is often overlooked—especially when it comes to losses like divorce, terminal illness in the family, or even the death of a pet. In response, she developed the Lessons in Loss journal series to give kids a safe outlet to process emotions. These include guides for specific events such as losing a parent, suicide, imprisonment of a loved one, and more. Each journal is paired with an adult support guide to equip parents, teachers, and caregivers with practical tools to engage with grieving children.

The episode emphasizes the urgent need for adults to do their own grief work so they can model healthy emotional processing for children. As Cole notes, “We can't help kids grieve well if we haven't done it ourselves.” Both he and Deborah challenge leaders and parents to be courageous in facing their own pain—because dysregulated adults can’t support dysregulated children.

Deborah ends by encouraging listeners to reflect on what might be holding them back from healing and to take action. Her final words: “You need to be able to complete with that… Put yourself first, and don’t take anything except the absolute best for you.”

Connect with Deborah: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Mrs-Deborah-Jane-Brown/author/B0CCZW3KTZ?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=d7124efd-a0c2-4833-a155-a528ab5481a8

Timestamps:

00:00 – From Grief to Purpose: Deborah’s Story Begins

03:35 – The Loss That Changed Everything

06:45 – A Second Blow: Losing Her Sister Too Soon

10:01 – When Staying Busy Becomes a Mask

13:45 – Anger, Denial, and the Misuse of Grief Stages

17:05 – Grieving Children Are Everywhere—and Often Missed

22:00 – The Power of the Grief Recovery Method

25:41 – Teaching Teachers to Heal: The HCWL Course

29:25 – Why We Must Equip Adults Before We Can Heal Children

33:50 – Lessons in Loss: Journals That Give Kids a Voice