Brian Beckner and Jason Stewart trudge through another week of Bachelor in Paradise, questioning Reality Steve’s sunny outlook and lamenting the “Golden” contestants’ saggy legs, dead ex talk, and general lack of drama.

This week’s chaos includes the much-hyped $500K twist, a baffling casino-style compatibility challenge, politicking to avoid elimination, and one of the dumbest strategic wagers in Paradise history. Plus: Steve Sax memorabilia, Jeff Kent’s Survivor tax gripe, and why Leia Organa’s last name makes no sense.

Episode Highlights:

• [0:00] Reality Steve and Dave Neal think it’s a good season… Brian disagrees
• [4:15] The “Goldens” bring dead ex talk — and Brian’s had enough
• [8:50] Rose ceremony recap: Gary, the “Black Homer Simpson,” is a hot commodity
• [15:40] Steve Sax’s legendary double-play photo (and possible teabag of Mike Schmidt)
• [20:25] The $500K twist — “life-changing money” or game show gimmick?
• [27:10] Casino-style personality game — bad wagers, body count questions, and blown strategy
• [38:15] Politicking to survive: Brian threatens to spill Jeremy’s secret
• [44:05] Jonathan’s friend-zone blunder and Leah’s “you’re welcome” rose
• [50:50] Bailey’s decision sends Gary & Leslie packing
• [55:30] Why Paradise pretends couples can’t see each other after elimination
• [1:00:05] Jesse teases next week’s “explore other interests” twist
• [1:03:15] The slog continues — but fewer Goldens is a small mercy

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