When I Asked to Die: The Memoir of Elijah
Biblical Memoirs
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When I Asked to Die: The Memoir of Elijah
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ROBERT LEWIS
When I Asked to Die is not the story of Elijah’s whole life. It is the story of his collapse. After fire falls on Mount Carmel, after the prophets of Baal are judged, after rain finally breaks the long drought, Elijah should stand in triumph. Instead, one message from Jezebel sends him fleeing into the wilderness. The prophet who faced kings and called on Yahweh before all Israel now finds himself overtaken by fear, exhaustion, shame, and the bitter knowledge that public victory is not the same thing as peace in the soul.
Told in a grave, intimate first-person voice, When I Asked to Die follows Elijah on the road south through memory, weakness, and inward unraveling—past the triumph of Carmel, past the old mercies at Cherith and Zarephath, and into the lonely place beneath the broom tree where he asks for death at last.
But the wilderness is not empty.
This is a novel of prophetic burden, human frailty, and the severe tenderness of Yahweh toward a servant who can no longer carry himself. For listeners who love biblically resonant historical fiction, When I Asked to Die offers a deeply human Elijah: fierce, spent, ashamed, faithful, and met by God in the dust.
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