A Survival Guide for People Who Overthink Breathing

Do you lie awake at night replaying that weird thing you said in 2014? Do you spend more time analyzing text messages than actually responding to them? Do you sometimes mistake mild discomfort for a full-blown medical emergency?

Congratulations! You have anxiety.

"Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, In Which Case, Panic)" is the book for anyone who has ever:

Imagined an entire argument that never actually happened.

Thought someone hated them because they used a period instead of an exclamation mark.

Googled their symptoms and immediately planned their funeral.

This is not a self-help book. This is a validation of your deeply chaotic existence—a hilarious, biting, and painfully relatable deep dive into the spirals, overthinking, and worst-case-scenario fantasies that come with having a brain that refuses to chill.

Inside, you’ll find:

The Social Anxiety Checklist™ (includes "Laughed weirdly and immediately regretted it")

A guide to Overanalyzing Texts (Spoiler: Just Stop)

A Flowchart for Deciding Whether to Send That Apology Text (Spoiler: Don’t Do It)

Proof that your boss’s "Good morning" email is not a secret plan to fire you

If you’ve ever wished you could return your brain for one that doesn’t assume the worst at all times, this book is for you. Laugh through the panic—because if you can’t fix it, you might as well make fun of it.