There are some stories that force you to rethink everything you believe about addiction. This is one of them.

Terry Devine was five years old when a teacher humiliated him in front of a class — a single moment that buried him in shame so deep he carried it for decades. That shame became the soil everything else grew from: the drinking, the chaos, the emotional collapse, and eventually heroin. Not because he wanted to get high, but because heroin felt like a parent he never had. Warm. Safe. Comforting. Until it wasn’t.

In this conversation, Terry reveals the parts of addiction that almost never make it into public view. The night he pushed a burning poker into his own arm. The moment heroin stopped working and withdrawal hit with a force that made death feel easier. The sickening realisation that he was no longer chasing pleasure — only running from pain. And the brutal truth that there are two kinds of rock bottom: the physical one everyone imagines, and a far more dangerous spiritual one that no one can see coming.

Terry talks openly about how undiagnosed ADHD shaped everything: the impulsivity, the emotional intensity, the constant sense of being wrong in his own skin. He explains why he believes ADHD is one of the most overlooked drivers of early substance use, and how it became the invisible gateway that made heroin feel inevitable.

What Terry describes here is the real machinery of addiction: the obsession that silences logic, the withdrawals that feel like your insides are being torn out, the distortion of identity, and the terrifying moment when a person realises they’ve crossed a line they can’t uncross. He explains how shame becomes a worldview, how trauma rewrites the brain, and how addiction convinces you that you are beyond saving long before anyone else realises you're in trouble.

And then, somehow, he rebuilt a life and you'll find out exactly how he did it. Terry met the love of his life in recovery and learn how they both stayed sober during tragedy, why the 12 steps having only small success rate is false, why and how cross addiction happens, how heroin lead him to alcohol and what it really means to be clean and sober.

More on Terry -

Today, he’s a lecturer in forensic science at the University of the West of England, a clinical addiction hypnotherapist, a recovery coach, and the founder of Devine Recovery Solutions. He’s dedicated to helping others break free from addiction.

Terry is also a committed fundraiser in memory of his son, climbing mountains and volcanoes across the world — from Ecuador to Kilimanjaro. He’s now approaching 13 yrs clean and sober.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK - support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode!

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Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:40 A rock bottom moment

9:30 Shame, not feeling good enough and heroin

14:35 If drugs are the answer what is the question?

15:00 ADHD was the gateway drug

18:10 Alcohol to heroin was fast

21:30 Heroin withdrawal

25:15 Heroin addiction leads to stealing

27:00 Addiction Vs dependency

28:40 Cross addiction & relapse

32:20 Do you have to give up all drugs?

33:20 How did Terry get clean and sober?

37:30 12 Steps has a 5% success rate?

41:30 Staying sober during tragedy

48:30 Embracing vulnerability & courage

50:20 Sponsor

51:20 Can you have a relationship early in recovery?

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