Dr. Hanek explores the importance of vulnerability and how it can show up in sex and intimacy. She explores how this area of life is extremely important for discovering adulthood and establishing healthy relationships

Guest:
Dr. Bailey Hanek is the co-author of Navigating Intimacy: An Introductory Guide to Couples and Sex Therapy. She focuses her work on sex therapy, where he co-author focuses on relationships and communication. She has trained in a variety of behavioral health settings, providing individual, couple, and family therapy, as well as testing services.

To learn more about Dr. Bailey Hanek, please visit:
https://www.centralsquarepsych.com/
drhanek@centralsquarepsych.com

Timestamps:
4:20 – Concept – What makes talking about sex hard?
6:25 – Idea – Vulnerability and Talking About Sex
8:00 – Idea – The Golden Rule of Sex
11:20 – Previous Episode – E17: Consent and Becoming an Adult
13:10 – Concepts – Cultured and Gendered Scripts for Vulnerability
16:00 – Concepts – Scripts Get in the Way of What Individually Desire
18:00 – Concepts – Challenging Assumptions about Desire Based on Identity
21:10 – Concepts – Dialogue and Talking About Desire
27:00 – Concepts – Comfort and Desire
29:00 – Concepts – Fear of Shame and Vulnerability
31:30 – Personal Strategies for Vulnerability – Layout a Gameplan / A Desire Menu
31:30 – Personal Strategies for Vulnerability – Debrief After the Act
37:00 – Personal Strategies – Roses and Thorns
38:00 – Barriers to Vulnerability – Shame
40:00 – Barriers to Vulnerability – Differences & Incompatibility
43:00 – Parent Strategies – Changing Perspective From Fear to Pleasure & Safety
46:45 – Parent Strategies – Normalizing STI Screening
50:00 – Story – How Dr. Hanek Found This Work
53:40 – Debunking Sex Myths – #1: Men Have a Higher Sex Drive
54:20 – Debunking Sex Myths – #2: Sex is not a Drive, It’s a Motivated Behavior
55:00 – Debunking Sex Myths - #3: You Can Influence Sexual Desire
56:00 – Book - Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski
57:40 – Debunking Sex Myths – #4: Level of Desire is Related to Attraction
54:20 – Debunking Sex Myths – #5: Sex is not a Drive, It’s a Motivated Behavior
60:00 – Personal Strategies for Wellness - Gardening

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Stan Forebee: https://stanforebee.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast