What happens when separation doesn’t mean moving out right away?

For many people, divorce or separation comes with months of still living under the same roof sharing kitchens, bills, hallways, and the same tense atmosphere every single day.

It’s one of the hardest and least talked about parts of separation. You’re no longer a couple, but you’re still in the same house. The smallest things like dishes, laundry, or the TV remote suddenly carry the weight of all the history and unspoken arguments between you. It can feel like walking on eggshells, or like being roommates with someone who knows every one of your buttons.

In this episode of The Ex-Bytes Podcast, Ray dives deep into the challenges of living under one roof with your ex and how to survive it with dignity, calm, and sanity. Drawing from personal experience and hard-won lessons, he shares practical strategies that anyone in this situation can use right away.

You’ll discover:

• ✅ Why setting boundaries and ground rules isn’t punishment, it’s survival — and how to make them stick.

• ✅ How to divide chores, bills, and shared spaces so you don’t clash every single day.

• ✅ The key communication do’s and don’ts that stop arguments before they start (including the 3-sentence rule).

• ✅ How to protect your kids from conflict, keep routines stable, and create safe zones in the house.

• ✅ Coping strategies to protect your own mental health, from journaling and walking to leaning on your support network.

Ray also shares his own experiences, the arguments over small things that weren’t really about small things, the moments where he had to pause instead of react, and the simple routines that gave his kids a sense of safety even when life felt uncertain.

Analogy to remember:
Living under one roof after separation is like camping in the rain. You can’t change the weather, but you can adjust the tent, make yourself as comfortable as possible, and know that the sun will come out again.

This episode is for you if:

• You’re separated or divorced but still sharing a house with your ex.

• You feel stuck in constant tension and want a calmer way forward.

• You’re trying to shield your kids from conflict while under one roof.

• You need real-world strategies, not textbook theory, to get through the day-to-day.

👉 At the end of the episode, Ray leaves you with a thought provoking question:

If you’re living under the same roof right now, what’s one boundary you could set this week that would make life calmer for everyone?

He also shares a powerful wisdom quote to carry with you:
“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” — Prentis Hemphill