
Session 3: When You Get Scared, I Get Scared
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What happens when a real-life crisis puts your relationship’s progress to the ultimate test? This week, a stressful weekend surrounding their daughter’s tonsil surgery sends Bethany and Brian spiraling, revealing how a shared set of facts can tell two completely different stories and leave both partners feeling more alone than ever.
We explore how Bethany’s anxiety about their daughter triggers Brian’s own deep fear of failure, leaving him overwhelmed and unable to show up for her. The pressure becomes so intense that Brian voices a familiar thought: that continuing with a divorce would be easier than facing the pain of their disconnection.
This session is a powerful example of how high-stress situations don’t create new problems, but expose the ones already there. The central challenge becomes clear: can they learn to turn toward each other’s fear, instead of letting it drive them apart?
This week’s prompt: Think about a recent time a need went unspoken in your relationship. What were you afraid might happen if you voiced it?
Send your responses to this prompt or any questions / comments you have about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.
- Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
- For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
- Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course
- Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime