
What They Didn’t Tell Me About My Autistic Body… That Remembers Everything
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Content Note: Sexual abuse, family trauma, therapy processing, strong language, intense emotional content
Video Summary
This live piece cuts to the bone of what trauma recovery actually looks like. When your brain works differently. And your body never forgets.
What happens when you finally see yourself clearly in a therapist's mirror?When rage becomes the only honest response to betrayal? When family protection fails and the body becomes your only witness?
Studies report as many as 75% of all adult autistics have experienced trauma. And specifically sexual trauma? From 60 to 75% across a lifetime.
No therapeutic jargon. No sanitized healing narratives. Just the raw truth that most trauma content won't touch. In plain, direct language that doesn't hide behind disease-based, diagnostic terms.
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Key Themes Explored:
* Childhood sexual abuse and the body's persistent memory
* Family dysfunction and protective failure
* Therapy processing and breakthrough moments of clarity
* Autistic self-recognition during trauma recovery
* Rage as a healing response to violation and betrayal
* The witness within - how the body always remembers
Who This Speaks To:
* Trauma survivors seeking authentic voices about recovery
* Adult autistics processing childhood experiences
* Family members trying to understand complex trauma dynamics
* Therapists and counselors working with neurodivergent trauma survivors
* Anyone who knows that healing isn't linear or pretty
Discussion Starters:
* How does neurodivergence affect trauma processing and memory?
* What does authentic trauma recovery look like beyond inspiration narratives?
* How do family systems enable or prevent healing from abuse?
* When does rage become a necessary part of recovery?
Connect:
Share your thoughts on trauma, healing, and truth-telling below. Hit subscribe for more unfiltered autistic perspectives.
Full Transcript
A son no more. Yet the body abides.
This one's a little rough for me. Maybe for you. Trauma. Well, it's it's a fucking bitch, too.
The Body Abides
"Like I told you
Nothing really happened
Can't sleep is all..."
He repeats his view,
"The body watches.
The body ALWAYS
Fucking watches."
"Yeah, he kissed me
Fathers do that.
Yeah, it was weird but..."
He whispers me,
"Your body, your witness.
And this witness ALWAYS
Fucking watches."
Then he leans in…
"What if he'd kissed
your sister's lips...?"
"I'd fucking kill him."
That's when...
i see me
in his mirror
watching myself
watch my self
transparently autistic
a son no more,
yet the body...
abides.
images, never shared
images… never dared
hard, wet, frantic
fumbling… bare
rage
dark rage
Screaming RAGE
i'd fucking kill him
fucking kill him
kill him
him.
i rise...
so
slowly
and fucking smash that mirror
i rock, i sway…
i rub one red eye.
i stand, I stare…
I sigh, I say,
"My body watches
The body ALWAYS
Fucking watches…"
into a mirror staring nowhere
As I close his office door...
I abide.
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