In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron discuss how parents can help their teens navigate unfair situations in school, sports, and daily life. They consider different ways to manage disappointment, and how to consider the gains (vs. losses) of how they could respond.

From being overlooked by a teacher, to losing a spot on a team, unfairness is a part of growing up, and of living life.

Dr. Allen and Dr. Caron offer practical strategies for validating your teen’s feelings, guiding them in considering the options, and also recognizing when the best response is to let go and accept a situation that may feel unfair.

Together, they explore:

• Making sense of your role as a parent: advocate vs. coach
• The gains and losses of intervening vs. holding back
• How to validate feelings without jumping to fixes
• How acceptance can be an “active (and effective) choice” and not “giving up”
• Balancing support with independence as teens grow
• Parent self-care: venting safely and seeking support
• A quick & helpful radical acceptance practice you can try today

If you’ve ever worried about your teen feeling discouraged, left out, or defeated by unfair situations, this episode will give you tools to support them, model acceptance, and help them grow stronger through life’s challenges.

Key Topics Discussed

00:00 – When unfairness touches your teen’s life
02:31 – How parents usually get affected by their teen’s distress
04:55 – Supporting your teen: Step in or Step back?
07:05 – Considering the possible benefits of “not intervening”
07:55 – One “mantra” for parents to stay steady – “Be the Buddha in the road”
09:43 – A second “mantra” to consider – “It’s theirs”
11:45 – Let your teen vent and get in touch with their emotions
13:50 – Teaching acceptance: when to let go and move on
16:08 – Key takeaways for parents
16:48 – How to deal with our own emotions, as parents
19:14 – Daily habits to protect ourselves -as adults- from big emotions
20:18 – The practice of radical acceptance and half smile

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