Zane Mitchell

Retirement ain’t for pussies. Someone told me that once. And I’ll tell you this much—they weren’t shitting me. If you know anything about me at all, folks, you’ll know I’m not much of a planner. Never have been and probably never will be.

Have you ever had a rash? I’m talking one of the bad rashes. You know, the crusty kind that ooze puss and fester under the surface of your skin? The kind you gotta see a doctor for. Well, I’ve got a rash. It’s a bad one. And her name is Erika Wild....

Is it just me? Or are all relationships complicated? I feel a little bit like it might just be me. Because I seem to be the common denominator in every one of my f--ked-up relationships. The only relationship I have that’s not f--ked up is with my octogenarian sidekick, Al....

Have you ever met someone whose entire life mission was to get under your skin? A high school bully, perhaps? A work colleague that just can't buy a f--king clue? Your shithead next door neighbor who revs his engine at all hours of the night? Listen to find out more....

Technically, there’s only one girl on this island that I’ve been told to stay away from. One. And she just showed up on my doorstep looking like a hooker at a ho parade. Why, you ask? Well, according to her, I’m the only one on Paradise Isle that can help her....

Drunk on a Boat is a comedy crime fiction mystery rated R for rum-fueled revenge, romantic regrets, retired folks behaving very badly, and rude language.

Daniel T. Drunk, Jr. if you really wanna know. And I’m on a plane headed to Paradise Isle on the trip of a lifetime. The occasion? My honeymoon. Except, there’s only one problem. I’m riding solo....