Kevin Sweeney

The lucky ones died before it began to eat them. It had brooded beneath the ground for nearly a thousand years, buried alive, undying and filled with hate. It was a thing of pure hunger, a titanic monster with an insatiable appetite for the flesh of humans....

When one of them reveals that he has terminal cancer, four childhood friends agree to do something that they have talked about for years; ever since they were young, they've always spoken about making a crop circle in the shape of a massive cock....

Her neighbours regularly steal Mr. Farmer, her favourite gnome, from the old widow's garden to take away on holiday with them. It's a harmless joke. Mar Farmer has travelled all over the world, but he always comes back with plenty of photographs of his adventures....

Ten years ago, Mr. Bartleby, the nice lollipop man who helped children cross the road on their way to school, killed himself. And now he's back to murder the kids who goaded him into suicide....

Imagine James and the Giant Peach, only instead of a giant peach it's a genetic abomination, an unholy hulk of agonized flesh that should not be...and a mindless killing machine on a nightmare voyage through an ecological hell with a group of horrifying freaks....