The Seamen Sexology

Rear Admiral François le Foutre and his ship, the Raging Queen, are come upon by Captain Cocksmith Standish. Cocksmith and his men take all of François' seamen, and store them in the fo'c'sle with no hope of escape. Banned by the Texas Renaissance Festival, it's the gay pirate romance novel you've always secretly wanted! (Well, maybe openly wanted.)

In the sequel to the gay pirate romance novel There's Seamen on the Poop-Deck!, the salty seamen of the Raging Queen learn that the Duchess of Dicker has stolen the Golden Rod and hidden it in her person. (Ew.) Much to the crew's horror, Francois' coxswain must go to Dicker, seduce the Duchess, and extract the Golden Rod before it's too late. For those who like gay suspense and gay pirate romance novels, My Coxswain Is Bigger Than Yours will fill you up right!

When De Cocksdorp's head dyker Joosie Twaat wakes to find her finger has been sloppily inserted in her own now-leaking dyke, François and his crew immediately come to help De Cocksdorp. But small leaks become large leaks, and large leaks become gushes. And before long, Joosie's gaping dyke threatens to flood the whole town.

François is at it again, this time tackling the CEMM Guzzler - a big, important pinnace - and going to Balls Green after the notorious filcher, A. Niall Pilfry. His quest: the King Key Sextant, legendary for its power to make men do unspeakable things.