The Girlfriend Files

How to Accidentally Turn Your Hot Biker Neighbor Into a Full-Time Obsession

Posted by Anonymous at 1:02 a.m.

Here's something they don't cover in "Surviving Your Twenties 101": What to do when your new neighbor is six-foot-four of dangerous biker wrapped in tattoos and silence.

Spoiler: you lose all chill.

Exhibit A: Jake Savage.

• Hot. Silent. Deadly.
• When he talks, my brain forgets how to brain.
• His arms exist, and I was not warned.

Exhibit B: Me.

• Normal coder girl, thriving on coffee and spreadsheets.
• Now googling things like "what to do when a hot biker moves in next door" at one a.m.
• Wondering if forearm worship is a recognized religion.

My life used to be predictable. Now it's a three-step cycle:

1. Jake exists.
2. I obsess.
3. Repeat.

And then, when he kisses me?

Full system crash. 404: Not Found.

So yeah. Dating Jake wasn't in my five-year plan. But apparently it's the crash course I signed up for.

Heads up: dating a biker comes with no guidebook and no safety net. There's just him and the ride, and all you can do is hold on tight.

P.S. Before you panic, this isn't going on my public blog. I'm not trying to get unalived or sued, thanks. I've set this to private. If I ever make it public, I'll be redacting names, affiliations, and any detail that could get me yeeted into a ditch.

The Girlfriend's Guide to Dating a Biker is a laugh-out-loud, steamy biker romance with a broody, bossy biker who doesn't do small talk, only obsession; a nerdy coder heroine who's just as gone for him; and enough banter-charged tension to make you also wonder why forearm worship isn't a recognized religion. If you love hilarious heroines, found family, and protective bikers who kick down doors instead of knocking—welcome to the ride.