The Bandy Papers

With his disturbingly horse-like face and a pious distaste for strong drink and bad language, young Bartholomew Bandy doesn't seem cut out for life in the armed services, as we meet him at the start of World War I. Yet he not only survives the dangers and squalor of the infantry trenches, he positively thrives in the Royal Flying Corps, revealing a surprising aptitude for splitarsing Sopwith Camels and shooting down the Hun. He even manages to get the girl.

Bartholomew Bandy has become an air ace. On the ground, he causes disasters wherever he goes, but in the air, he's deadly, shooting down dozens of German planes in the course of thrilling aerial combats. As a handy but disposable war hero, he encounters a number of hair-raising adventures, not to mention English plumbing and an unforgettable honeymoon night.

As usual, the RAF top brass don't know what to do with maverick flying ace and well-known loose cannon Major Bartholomew Bandy. They pack him off to a squadron where the flying record barely registers, thinking it'll keep him out of their hair. But after a shaky start, Bart gets a firm grip on things - one of those things being the adjutant, who jealously guards his own private and baroquely magnificent WC. With old pal Dick Milestone, Bart reinvigorates the superbly turned-out but demoralized pilots, who start doing some serious flying and very serious damage to the enemy.

Peace has broken out, and World War I flying ace and all-round chancer Bartholomew Bandy isn’t exactly making a success of being a commercial pilot in the USA. But when a job lot of aircraft bits purchased with the last of his pay turns out to be a complete Vickers Vimy bomber, he feels his luck has changed. With the help of his very tall, very sweet girlfriend Cissie, and the hindrance of his very short, very bad, and beautiful girlfriend Dasha, Bart smashes (literally) straight into the exciting new world of the movies. 

The only work he finds is flying bootleg liquor into the USA. In desperation (what else?), he stands as a local MP and in desperation (why else?), they vote him in. But after spilling the beans on a bunch of government members indulging in Prohibition corruption, Bart’s soon cordially hated by everyone up to the Prime Minister - can he really be naïve enough to believe party propaganda that the people must be told the truth? So Bart’s goose - or gander - is cooked, and the resulting mess can be summed up as whisky galore!