検索キーワード： ナレーター "Jessica Almasy" すべてのカテゴリー

My grandmother has orchestrated a psycho body swap. I’m in Uncle Satan’s body, and he’s in mine. According to Mother Nature, we have one week to respect each other or we’re stuck in this out-of-body Hell for eternity. Satan’s thinks being a Vampyre sucks, and I’m horrified that Demons have use the bathroom for more than showering and brushing their teeth. Yuck. It gets worse.

The squirrels Jed, TsTs, and Chai are the very best of friends. So when Jed is snatched up by a hawk and carried away to another realm, TsTs and Chai resolve to go after him. New communities are discovered, new friends are made, huge danger is encountered (both man-made and of the fox and bobcat...

I want to live my life in peace for a little while as opposed to pieces. I don’t know who I have to bribe to catch a break, but I’m willing to pay the big bucks. Apparently, no one got the memo. Midlife is one messy ride. Fine. I’m off to Lexington, Kentucky to find a self-proclaimed dragon who sports a mullet, beer belly and delusions of Immortal grandeur. This time he’s gone too far. He’s messed with me and mine for the last time. The way to end a dragon is to remove his tail. We thought we had. A tail is in the back. Right? Wrong. So, so wrong.

I thought being a Demon sucked, but being a Demon Goddess is a whole ’nother level. Life had been so much easier when I was just a forty-year-old has-been actress trying to make a comeback in the land of Botox and BS. For the love of everything absurd, I was just getting used to being a Demon … and BAM … all of a sudden I’m supposed to be one of the two gals in charge? I mean, being the co-star of the show is great until it involves ruling the Darkness with the evil whack job who destroyed my mother.

The 21st century is quite the horrifying eye-opener for a Vampyre warrior who's been in a magical coma for a thousand years. The Vampyre in question would be me. I’m so damned confused by the modern world, and getting electrocuted for being misogynistic—whatever that means—is getting old. It’s insanity. Apparently, there’s a species called Karens running in the wild. The Tube of You and the Book of the Faces are alarming. From what I understand, the Karens gather there.

I did not order the extra slice of Armageddon to go with my midlife crisis. Apparently, if you’re an Immortal, it comes free of charge. I have until sundown tomorrow to get to a parallel plane of existence, save my family, and kick bad-guy butt all before the world ends. Impossible, right? Not according to my posse of whackado buddies. They like to remind me that nothing is impossible as long as I believe. Well, I’m about to be the mother of all believers.

Recently, I was given my own sitcom and my forties were looking fabulous. My dreams were finally coming true—were being the operative word. Of course, just when I think I might have a grip on my newly discovered Demon status, it all goes to Hell. Literally. I’ve gone from enemies-to-lovers back to enemies with the hottest Demon alive, who also happens to be the producer on my show. What I’d like to do is never see Abaddon’s stupidly handsome face again.

Apparently, there’s no rest for the over-forty crowd. Yes, I have fabulous friends. Yes, I have a beautiful baby. Yes, the ghosts are coming back home.  Yes, I’m in love with the Grim Reaper. However, that sexy Demon has got some major ’splainin’ to do … like his possible involvement in the shocking kidnapping of my worst and most deadly enemy. With a drag queen and an ice queen as my back up, we’re going to sashay away into the Darkness to find the truth and turn a wrong into a right. Although, I’m learning fast that black and white are often clouded with shades of gray.

The rich bloodsuckers don’t want to pay taxes. Too bad, so sad. They’re the least of my problems right now. At the wise suggestion of my beloved mate, I indulge in a little retail therapy so I don’t dismember the pissed-off crew of greedy Vamps who don’t want to pay their fair share. How could a trip to the happiest place on earth a.k.a. Target go wrong? Let me count the ways....

Katie has reached the fifth floor of the dungeon and met with the ruler of the Abyss, where she learned that her previous actions have rendered her fetch quest uncompletable. Rather than give in to despair, she’s decided on a new quest: to escape the dungeon she’s trapped in and defeat the demon lord herself. With her body already warped into something inhuman, gaining a third class that has some rather detrimental effects on the fabric of reality doesn’t help her stay grounded. It does, however, grant her even more power. Will there be anything in the real world capable of standing up to her?

No One Leaves the Castle has descriptive copy which is not yet available from the Publisher...

Katie has successfully reached the third floor of the dungeon in which she accidentally stranded herself, but with enemies both ahead and behind her, she’s having to fight hard for every step she takes. Still, at least she finally found an ally, even if that ally was her.

With a show to produce and my career as an actress on the line, I really don’t have time to die—especially violently. However, while that might not be on my agenda, it seems to be on other’s. Awesome. Instead of acting in my latest endeavor, I’m playing the real-life role of Reluctant Demon Who Has To Save The World—or at the very least, the hot hero.

Oh great hero! The evil Demon Lord has once again arisen to terrorise our lands, and we have summoned you to save our people! No, we don't want you to fight the demon lord! Of course not; we're the good guys! What sort of good guys kidnap people from other worlds and force them to take part in wars that have nothing to do with them? That would just be plain evil! We'd be no better than the demons!

Convinced that their dastardly uncle Freidrich has escaped with their family fortune, the Flamingo Sisters return home to the Upper Lower Valley Mountain Rural Region in despair. But when their beloved mentor Elsie de la Rue goes missing—and they discover a new clue that may lead them to their lost Golden Flamingo—the three sisters take off on another thrilling chase in the skies! They join the death-defying pilots of the Women’s Air Derby, then hopscotch from New York to France to Egypt, determined to stop their uncle from spreading evil across the globe.

Two years have passed since Vita was arrested by the Inquisition, and her time in prison has not been kind to her. As Penelope Vesuvius plots a grand breakout while currying favor with the government, the monstrous Lark joins the Church in search of redemption. A conflict between the most powerful forces in Valka is set to simmer, and it's only a matter of time before it boils over...

"Apples, ho!" This delectable tale is a School Library Journal Best Book of the Year. Daddy has uprooted the family to move to Oregon—but not without his babies—apples, peaches, pears, plums, grapes, and cherries! Will Daddy's precious plants persevere? This tall tale is loosely based on a real-life fruit pioneer who brought his fruit trees along on the Oregon Trail.

Wings of Fire meets The Hunger Games in this debut contemporary middle grade fantasy stand-alone about thirteen-year-old Cassidy Drake, who enters the dangerous Great Texas Dragon Race to save her family’s dragon sanctuary. Thirteen-year-old Cassidy Drake wants nothing more than to race with...

Just when I thought life might be getting back to normal—normal being a relative word—I couldn’t have been more wrong. Marriage proposal from the Grim Reaper? Yes. Beautiful healthy baby? Yes. Friends and family safe? Yes. Ghost of my worst enemy sitting on my front porch? OMG. Yep. With the ghostly world imploding around me, I’m going to need more than superglue to repair it. 

What does a forty-year-old former child star do when she finds out she’s a Demon? A sitcom, of course. Age is just a number unless you’re an actress of a certain age trying to make a comeback in La La Land. Back in the day, I was the child star of the hit show Camp Bites. Today, I’m still living it down.After a disastrous soap opera audition and getting fired from a TV show for not having a bodacious enough backside, one would think I’d be smart enough to go into real estate. Nope. Just found out from the rudest, meanest, and hottest guy alive that I’m a Demon.