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“I know Artificial Intelligence has fewer calories, but it just doesn’t taste as good.” The Zoomarble Madcap Space Adventure Series concludes with Book 3, Scrapes the Nadir. Ride along on missions through odd new worlds packed with action, bad people, massive weaponry, monkey creatures, quantum security, medieval food trucks, robots, wizards, robot wizards, fat fascists, cranky waiters, and dragocorns. Get immersed in deep concepts that are science adjacent, further blurring the lines between technology and magic. Join the gang as they try their best not to get distracted.

Good morning Anthony! Anthony is preparing for his eventual Ph.D. defense in anthropology. In less than a week, he’ll orbiting the planet Proxima Centauri b with five spacefaring races, known only to the US Space Command. The military will task him with profiling the aliens for their own dubious motives. His every action will be scrutinized by friends and foes alike. Anthony is not ready for this.

Once, they were the galaxy’s most fearsome mercenaries… A lot has changed since then. Still, a friend is a friend. So, when one of their old crewmates dies under mysterious circumstances, the infamous Billy Firebrand calls the old crew back together for one last mission. With a busted ship, a lifetime’s worth of demons, and a galactic war on the line, they’ll face odds they probably couldn’t have beaten in their prime.

For science teacher Baxter Plink, his grandmother’s funeral was already set to be a grim affair. But he never expected the deceased to wink at him. Or for his own navel to start glowing and projecting holographic replays of his most embarrassing potential deaths for the entire congregation to see. What begins as a personal quantum catastrophe quickly goes viral, becoming a global pandemic of "Quantum Embarrassment" where everyone's deepest regrets and unfulfilled dreams are broadcast from their bellies.

If you're an alien traveler seeking adventure (or just stranded by a malfunctioning space cruiser), this is your ultimate guide to surviving Earth with your dignity mostly intact. Written with wit, sarcasm, and mild concern for your safety, A Guide to the Planet Earth for Aliens is perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, The Martian, and anyone who’s ever felt like Earth might be trying to kill them… but still wants to visit again.

Strak is a run-of-the-mill Orcus Empire recruit whose days are filled with following orders, patrolling corridors, and stamping papers. When he’s captured by the most-wanted space pirate in the galaxy, he assumes (quite logically) that the end is nigh. Instead, he finds himself…spearheading a birthday celebration for said space-pirate’s 12-year-old daughter?

First Runner Up, Science Fiction & Fantasy, 2024 Eric Hoffer Award & Grand Prize Shortlist Finalist! Aliens have hatched a rockstar. Brain extractions, falling body parts, and blood-vessel explosions are the norm. Alex’s dream job has turned into a nightmare. What should she do? It's the 1990s. Alex arrives at Acht Records, her improbable blonde hair streaked stress magenta and anger black. Her first duty is to wipe blood off her boss's walls. It goes downhill from there. Rock Gods & Messy Monsters is a humorous story about life inside a record company.

The aliens came to Earth with a threat and an offer. We must cease and desist all use of the name Miss Universe for our Earthbound pageants. But we are invited to send one candidate to compete in the real Miss Universe pageant on a planet thousands of light years away. Karly Matthews, a renowned geneticist, is chosen to accompany Earth's delegate and train her in the skills she will need to survive an interplanetary competition.

For fans of Kevin Wilson and Andrew Sean Greer, a helper robot and his 35-year-old ward embark on a mad-cap adventure to save the fate of the family company in this whimsically speculative ode to Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster. Cy wants nothing more than to be useful, raise his utility score...

On the one day of the year when Bentley returns to the factory for a tune-up, Cyril's Aunt Hypatia enlists him in a complex scheme. All is not as it seems, however- there are plots within plots- which all come to a head within the terrifying twists of The Labyrinth!

Now T.E.D.D., the foul-mouthed trash droid who's done taking humanity's crap, is stuck juggling mobsters, mutant tech, his own glitchy anomaly, and a pack of robowolves. Blades and bullets won't be enough. Because the deadliest part of the job isn't the weapons—it's his dumb co-workers who make Great Grandpa GPT look like a genius.

Jessica Lin is missing! And Brad Mendoza has no idea where she is. But he has other problems, like the people trying to extort him into capturing a man he was probably going to kill anyway! Now, with bounty hunters, crime lords, their own Navy, and some random gunslinger after them, can Brad and Jessica find a little more dumb luck and save each other and their crew? Old villains return, and new friends are forged as they scramble against the worst odds they've ever seen.

When word of his abilities spreads through the galactic grapevine, Ben ranks number one on an A.I.’s most wanted list to become their cybernated slave. As he’s thrust into an interstellar struggle, Ben discovers a powerful alien hiding on Earth. Determined to protect it, he must outmaneuver relentless enemies, decode cryptic warnings, and determine whether a headstrong spaceship is friend or foe. The fate of more than just his own survival is at stake, and if he fails, the entire universe could pay the price.

Ben and the crew have set course for an alien planet, but the inhabitants are far from what they expected. They have answers that could get their baby Viraquin home, but Ben isn’t sure he’s willing to pay the price for the well-guarded secret. En route to the planet, they receive a distress call from a crippled ship and are bound by law to help. The life support system onboard is failing and the crew is dying. Ben and Lois are their last hope. A power coupling is easy enough to get to ensure their survival… they just have to plunder it from another ship.

Fresh off her single-handed defense against alien adversaries in a galactic courtroom, Maxine Justice discovers that saving the Earth is not enough to earn a hero’s welcome back home. Once again broke and now looking for revenge, her return to night court as a public defender takes an immediate detour when she’s tasked with defending a Therapod murder suspect.

Earth’s been toast for five years—ever since the aliens showed up, killed half the population, and penned the rest like cattle. Master Sergeant Sol Winters leads a ragtag resistance team that’s barely clinging to relevance, when an alien ship crashes in his backyard carrying the princess of the empire and her grumpy bodyguard. She claims she’s here to make peace. Sol’s pretty sure she’s lying—but if she’s not, she might be humanity’s only shot at survival.

When Ciara attends the Intergalactic Medicine Symposium, the last thing she expects is to run into Kayog, an infallible empathic matchmaker, who declares he knows who her soulmate is. Her excitement at the prospect of meeting Amreth, a magnificent and powerful Obosian Hell Lord, is crushed when a pirate attack results in her near-death and abduction.

T.E.D.D. is a trash droid with glitches, sarcasm to spare, and zero interest in dealing with our crap. Unfortunately, quitting isn’t easy when blackouts, psychotic episodes, and a corporate death squad are on your tail. To survive, T.E.D.D. must embrace his anomaly—and maybe even team up with the humans he can’t stand.

Sharks. In space. It's exactly what you think it is. What more do you want?

May’s career as an interstellar rocket racer is just ramping up. She’s got a stunning ship, her best friend Xan for a co-pilot, and a rocket-full of winnings. But obscenely good luck can’t last forever, and May has been racing in a stolen ship. When Xan’s arrested by a tea-sipping, goddess-possessed pink robot for a crime he can’t bring himself to explain without baking analogies, May’s career is over. With the help of an adventure biologist and her freshly un-dead girlfriend, May and Xan must find a way to change the past before the goddess of Chaos squashes everything May loves.