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Take a space-pirate, inspired by a long-ago Dark Lord. Take a long period of quarantine within the tiny confines of a stolen starship. Now, take 42 busted, broken, or overbearing tropes of fantasy and science fiction. One by one, the Dark Lord twists each into a strange shape and uses it to tell a new story - many of them disgracefully funny, some rather dark, and none of them suitable for vulnerable minds such as yours. Jeff Mach brings tight, interesting, usually satirical, often quite twisted stories, to light a fire in your belly like whiskey, and light a whiskey on fire.

In this satirical thriller that strikes uncomfortably close to real life events, President Adolf Wallace declares martial law and accuses the Democrats of rigging the election. Native Americans decide to band together and take back their country. Ensuing incidents call for an assessment of loyalties that could mean life or death. An EMP detonated by North Korea only makes matters worse.

This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and...

Two ladies, one nearly divorced and the other one newly widowed, began dating again after being married for 20 years. They discover that the dating scene has changed since they were younger, and were unprepared for it.

In which our intrepid correspondent attempts to look back over the last eight years in a professional and impartial manner, and tries not to plotz.

In which our intrepid correspondent questions the motives of Mister Magoo as he stumbles through the wreckage of his presidential campaign.