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You tried Tinder - it sucks. You heard of people hooking up fast and you wanted to do that. But it wasn't that easy, was it? You didn't get many matches. The girls didn't message you back. Perhaps you even met some of them, but you didn't have sex like you planned. What happened?

Aaron is a huge soccer fan, but here in America there's not much love for the game. Without a professional team to root for, Aaron is trying to keep a local club organized, but without a field of their own, he quickly begins to see things fall apart. Fortunately, Aaron stumbles upon a secret patch of grass out in the woods of his local park, but soon it becomes quite clear that this green has more to offer than just a place to kick the ball around. Now Aaron has been transformed into a beautiful woman, and she's ready to take on the whole team when the rest of the guys arrive.

Susie starts off today's show with a look at the birth-control debate gone wild.Guess where. Yup, it's happening down in Texas, where the state legislators and the governor are destroying birth control and abortion access. Susie says they are not alone in their draconian measures, but the size and disenfranchisement of the affected population is vast. Their puritan ideas on women's health are truly scary.