『you're not bad in bed. you're bad at being told. | cuffed episode no. 48』のカバーアート

you're not bad in bed. you're bad at being told. | cuffed episode no. 48

you're not bad in bed. you're bad at being told. | cuffed episode no. 48

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why does “not there, more of that” land as an insult for so many men?this episode of cuffed explores what being a good lover actually means, why feedback in bed is information, and what changes when a man receives it without defending his ego.then the theory meets lived experience: a first night, a pair of socks, and a woman who felt comfortable enough to stop everything and say what she needed.episode overview:she stopped me.thursday night, clothes half off.the socks stay on.i could have made it weird. i didn’t.this episode is about what happens after a woman tells a man what she needs. does he listen? does he adjust? or does she end up managing his reaction?musing no. 145 establishes what makes a good lover: receiving feedback, paying attention, and incorporating what you learn.special edition no. 3 follows that through a recent experience — from the first conversation to the moment she stopped me, and what she told me afterward about how comfortable she felt.quick hits:— being a good lover involves more than sexual technique— “not there, more of that” gives you information you can use— listening requires doing something with what you heard— honest conversations about pleasure begin with trust— receiving a preference without judgment makes room for further conversation— the socks stayed on, and she didn’t have to defend why— feedback from the first night informed what happened the next morning— reciprocity starts with not asking for what you don’t givecommunity update:the cuffed podcast has now reached 8.5k downloads.thank you to everyone listening, reading, subscribing, and passing the work along.this week’s writing moves through being a good lover and getting over someone you loved. two different situations, both grounded in what i’ve lived and what i’ve learned.musing no. 146, “i don’t want her back. i’m grateful i knew her,” is now in the archive.the recent special editions bring the personal layer forward: “an unrestricted free agent,” followed by “she kept her socks on.”inside the red room, this week’s companion pieces are the loop directive, no. 83, and the getting over them directive, no. 84.the musings and main podcast remain free. red room membership is $9/month or $90/year, with two directives each week and a private podcast every friday.book/series news:earned is available now. the announced target for the audiobook edition is november 21, 2026.the architecture of intimacy is complete, alongside the architecture of self, trust, and control. the series and blueprint collections remain available to revisit.the architecture series returns in 2027 with desire, conflict, and man.musings recap:musing no. 145 — being a good lover isn’t the same as being good at sex.what women taught me about setting my ego down, listening to feedback, and learning the person in front of me. technique matters, but it cannot replace communication or attention.read:special edition no. 3 — she kept her socks on.a recent experience that brings the first musing into the room. she stopped me to state a preference. i accepted it. afterward, she told me how comfortable i had made her feel.read:deep dive:early on, i took feedback personally.a woman could tell me what she wanted more of, or what wasn’t working, and i would hear a judgment about me instead of information about her.that was my ego getting in the way of the very thing i said i wanted: her pleasure.musing no. 145 examines what changed when i learned to receive that information and use it. listening means adjusting. paying attention means learning what works for this person, rather than assuming a previous partner already taught you everything.special edition no. 3 brings that into a recent encounter.she wanted her socks to stay on. she told me in the middle of being undressed. they stayed on.the part that stayed with me was her willingness to speak at that moment — and her later confirmation that she felt comfortable telling me.the conversations continued. she could tell me what she liked, what she wanted faster or slower, and what she was interested in exploring. what she shared informed what happened next.that is the connection between these two pieces: feedback has to change your behavior to mean anything.the episode closes with reciprocity. take care of yourself. prioritize your partner’s pleasure. listen when she guides you. don’t make her regret bringing something up.don’t ask for what you don’t give.where to find cuffed:read → ⁠⁠⁠cuffedmedia.combooks → cuffedmedia.com/p/booksshop →⁠⁠⁠ shop.cuffedmedia.comred room → ⁠⁠⁠gocuffed.com/rdpinterest → ⁠⁠⁠follow usstream the music → spotify + apple music—hold the standard.stay close.— authorthis isn’t the only thing we made.subscribe · books · music · coaching · shoptranscript: she stopped me.thursday night, clothes half off.the socks stay on.i could have made it weird.i didn’t.and that’s ...
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