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in this episode, i unpack why slowing down feels so uncomfortable for driven people and why stillness often triggers fear, guilt and urgency rather than relief. we explore how high performers unconsciously equate stress with safety, why the nervous system learns to rely on adrenaline and pressure and how productivity becomes a coping strategy rather than a choice. drawing from neuroscience, eastern philosophy, stoicism and my own lived experience of grief, burnout and collapse, this episode reframes rest as regulation, stillness as power and calm as the foundation for clarity, creativity and sustainable success. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 welcome welcome!

01:46 what if you’re not scared of failure, but scared of stillness?

02:32 why high performers fear the quiet more than hard work

04:08 my 2024 stack of pressure, breakup and a cancer diagnosis

06:24 the moment i realised i was doing everything “right” from the wrong place

07:16 you can’t outthink or outwork what your body is holding

08:06 the pause that changed everything

09:19 why tears are not weakness

12:14 willpower won’t override survival mode

13:04 sympathetic dominance in plain english

16:04 clarity is not a thinking problem, it is a state problem

17:08 why your best ideas show up in the shower

17:56 a taoist, buddhist and stoicist walk into a bar

23:06 the dirty room analogy

24:51 djokovic, jobs, kobe, katy perry and seinfeld

27:14 the two questions that change everything for me

28:26 personal development 2.0

some takeaways

slowing down feels unsafe when stress equals safety

busyness often hides unprocessed grief, fear, and anger

you cannot think your way out of a dysregulated body

clarity follows regulation, not effort

stress narrows perception and kills creativity

achievement used for safety leads to collapse

stillness reveals what distraction hides

emotion stored in the body drains energy

calm restores insight, choice, and direction

rest is not quitting, it is upgrading

true power comes from safety, not urgency

success without peace is not success

connect with me

👉secure your free breakthrough call

a free, focused 1:1 call to help you clarify your direction, identify the unconscious patterns holding you back and walk away with grounded next steps to move into 2026 with more confidence, calm and intention.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy!

👉need more support?

if you’re interested in coaching programs and more support.

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lots of love,

david 💙

Raff Dall is a Melbourne-based actor, DJ and content creator with a psychology brain and a storyteller’s heart. His work lives at the intersection of performance, mental health, and creative entrepreneurship, spanning acting, stand-up, podcasting, late-night DJ sets, and Pokémon-infused content that brings people together.

By day, Raff studies advanced psychology at Monash, diving into research, empathy frameworks and behaviour change. By night, he creates: filming showreels, building his “Finding The Middle” podcast, producing UGC, and streaming live to a growing online audience. He’s financially meticulous and fiercely self-directed, juggling multiple income streams, training for trail events, and building a runway for his next chapter overseas.

Preparing for a 2026 move to Canada, Raff is expanding his acting craft, exploring snowboarding pathways, and doubling down on experiences that make life feel like a movie. His work and worldview are grounded in curiosity, self-respect, and the belief that creativity and mental health don’t have to be separate pursuits, they make each other stronger.

connect with Raff

instagram: www.instagram.com/rafferty.dall/

tiktok: www.tiktok.com/@rafferty.dall

website: raffertydall.com

email: rafferty.dall@gmail.com

~

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in this episode, Raff and i go deep on people-pleasing and why so many “good” high-achievers feel like ghosts in their own lives. we unpack how self-sacrifice becomes a survival strategy, how subtle family pressure trains you to perform for love and why you end up dating the same wound in a different outfit. we get into manipulation, love-bombing, shame spirals, withdrawal and the brutal truth that you will keep abandoning yourself until you learn to give yourself what you keep begging the world for. we also talk inner child work, somatic release, boundaries and the shift from chasing love to becoming it, without turning into singing kumbaya around the campfire. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 welcome Raff!

02:10 the “ghost” feeling, self-sacrifice and being a chameleon

05:15 where people-pleasing starts and the missing hug

08:10 subtle pressure, “where did i go wrong?” and the fish guts moment

11:45 why manipulation and people-pleasing are two coping styles

15:05 the car-seat shame spiral and feeling completely alone

18:00 how toxic dynamics hook you, love-bombing and breadcrumbing

21:10 the early red flags, contempt and “standards you walk past”

24:10 can you receive unconditional love from someone?

27:05 the turning point, journaling, self-talk and the “cringe” of self-love

30:20 “people full of love trigger people full of shit”

33:00 cognitive insight vs somatic healing, feeling the stuck shame

36:30 healing has an end point

39:10 how to let emotions move, surrender and safety

41:50 inner child work story, the year-one memory and the hug

46:10 boundaries in real life and choosing nourishing spaces

50:30 what “liberated” means to Raff

52:10 where to find Raff and a final nudge

connect with me

👉secure your free breakthrough call

a free, focused 1:1 call to help you clarify your direction, identify the unconscious patterns holding you back and walk away with grounded next steps to move into 2026 with more confidence, calm and intention.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy!

👉need more support?

if you’re interested in coaching programs and more support.

👉linkedin

👉facebook

👉instagram

👉tiktok

👉youtube

👉website

lots of love,

david 💙

📺watch and subscribe on youtube

in this episode, i unpack why burnout keeps repeating even when you know better and why working harder never fixes it. we explore how hustle culture, fear and early conditioning wire the nervous system into survival mode, why burnout is not a time management issue but a belief and safety issue and how unprocessed stress keeps driving urgency, overwork and self-abandonment. drawing from neuroscience, trauma psychology, ancient wisdom and my own lived experience of collapse, chronic stress and rebuilding from stillness, this episode invites you to understand burnout at the root, regulate the body first and learn how sustainable success only emerges from safety, presence and alignment. enjoy.

what we explored this episode

00:00 welcome welcome!

00:38 burnout isn’t a time problem

03:31 why your nervous system is running the show

06:37 the belief beneath burnout

07:16 the psychocybernetic loop explained

09:44 props to carl jung

10:50 why calm feels unsafe

12:54 how i cooked myself and my business

15:03 the more elegant path to personal development

16:41 wise words from lao tzu

17:20 moments i felt really unsafe

18:54 calm as the real performance advantage

24:33 a burnout recovery blueprint for you

26:37 nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished

some takeaways

burnout is not a badge of honour, it is a signal

you cannot fix burnout from the same state that created it

stress narrows perception and kills clarity

the body remembers what the mind avoids

working harder from fear reinforces the loop

regulation restores creativity, focus and discernment

calm is a skill, not a personality trait

success built on stress eventually collapses

stillness creates sustainable power

true high performance comes from safety, not urgency

connect with me

👉secure your free breakthrough call

a free, focused 1:1 call to help you clarify your direction, identify the unconscious patterns holding you back and walk away with grounded next steps to move into 2026 with more confidence, calm and intention.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy!

👉need more support?

if you’re interested in coaching programs and more support.

👉linkedin

👉facebook

👉instagram

👉tiktok

👉youtube

👉website

lots of love,

david 💙