Jay unpacks the hidden reasons why years of therapy might not be enough to break your oldest patterns. In this episode, you'll hear about the 3 core needs every nervous system has, and how to give them to yourself so you can stop tripping yourself up by trying to get them from outside of you.

Host Jay Moon Fields is a somatic coach and brings deep insight into the fawn response and how to stop being so beholden to this nervous system stress response.

In this episode, Jay shares:

► Why people who tend to fawn response struggle to feel anger and fear

► How to metabolize the physical surge of anger without short-circuiting or losing your "good person" identity

► What do actually do with your body and say to yourself so you can handle feeling uncomfortable emotions

►Why hyper-self-sufficiency is basically the fawner's operating system, and how to actually create internal safety for yourself

For full resources, past episodes, and to learn more about coaching, visit: https://jaymoonfields.com

YoursTruly Program – https://jaymoonfields.com/yours-truly (Code: heywait-50 for 50% off)

Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/jaymoonfields

Grab your free copy of The Hey, Wait Phrasebook: 12 Things to Say When You'd Normally Fawn, Freeze, or Fight - https://yourstruly.kit.com/0be0a7d69c

Credits: Produced by Viv – First Click VA | Original Music by Dalton Grant

Do you ever catch yourself going quiet, acquiescing, or somehow shooting yourself in the foot — right in the exact moment you needed to speak up?

This week's guest gets it. Jay sits down with leadership expert Selena Rezvani on how to stop people-pleasing, overcome the "Nervous Nice Girl" archetype, and advocate for yourself at work.

Selena Rezvani is a leadership speaker, four-time author, and premier self-advocacy expert who brings deep insight into finding your voice, setting boundaries, and mastering confidence in the workplace.

In this episode, you'll hear:
► The origin story of the "Nervous Nice Girl" archetype and how hypervigilance develops as a survival strategy.
► Live roleplaying actionable scripts for turning over-explained language into simple, clean boundaries
► The power of "selective excellence" and why trying to be excellent at everything leads to burnout.
► Simple mindset shifts and daily mantras that help you back yourself in high-stakes negotiations.

Learn more about Selena Rezvani: https://selenarezvani.com

For full resources, past episodes, and to learn more about coaching, visit: https://jaymoonfields.com

Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/jaymoonfields

Grab your free copy of The Hey, Wait Phrasebook: 12 Things to Say When You'd Normally Fawn, Freeze, or Fight - https://yourstruly.kit.com/0be0a7d69c

Credits: Produced by Viv – First Click VA | Original Music by Dalton Grant

Listen in as Jay shares an insightful conversation with ADHD wellbeing coach Kate Moryoussef on how undiagnosed ADHD manifests in women's bodies and nervous systems. Discover how a late-in-life diagnosis can reframe a lifetime of "what's wrong with me?" into a compassionate understanding of how your brain and body actually work.

Kate Moryoussef is an ADHD wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who brings deep insight into late-diagnosed ADHD, nervous system regulation, and the hidden cost of masking in women.

In this episode, you'll hear:

► How undiagnosed ADHD in women often mimics fawning, chronic anxiety, burnout, or perimenopause

► Why "just calm down" is the wrong ask for an ADHD body—and how to aim for feeling "settled" instead

► How Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/tapping) can help discharge stored tension and calm a hypervigilant nervous system

► Practical ways to set boundaries, build social exit plans, and protect your energy without shame or guilt

Learn more about Kate Moryoussef: https://www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk

For full resources, past episodes, and to learn more about coaching, visit: https://jaymoonfields.com

Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/jaymoonfields

Grab your free copy of The Hey, Wait Phrasebook: 12 Things to Say When You'd Normally Fawn, Freeze, or Fight - https://yourstruly.kit.com/0be0a7d69c

Credits: Produced by Viv – First Click VA | Original Music by Dalton Grant

This episode is all about resisting the urge to look outside yourself for all the answers and learning to treat cosmic tools as companions rather than controllers.

Guest Rachel Lang is a world-renowned astrologer, intuitive consultant, and elected City Council member who brings deep insight into the powerful relationship between fate, personal agency, and reclaiming your personal power.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• The difference between using astrology as a practical decision-making tool for self-empowerment versus using it as a spiritual permission slip or emotional outsourcing.

• How to balance and integrate your intuitive, "woo-woo" side with your grounded, professional life without hiding your true self.

• Why we need to stop blaming Mercury retrograde for everything and avoid letting toxic spirituality or astrology addiction limit our personal authority.

• How the current collective paradigm shift and historic planetary cycles are actively calling us to step out of hiding and author our own lives.

Learn more about Rachel Lang: https://rachellangastrologer.com

For full resources, past episodes, and to learn more about coaching, visit: https://jaymoonfields.com

Grab your free copy of The Hey, Wait Phrasebook: 12 Things to Say When You'd Normally Fawn, Freeze, or Fight - https://yourstruly.kit.com/0be0a7d69c

Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/jaymoonfields

Credits: Produced by Viv – First Click VA | Original Music by Dalton Grant

You don't need to stand up for yourself. You need a "self". Saying "Hey, Wait" is just the beginning. The real magic? Learning how to actually speak from your own reality. If you've been with us from the start, then you already know how much Nancy Dreyfus means to Jay. She's been Jay's mentor for years, and has shaped so much of the "Hey, Wait" approach you've been hearing about. Think of Nancy as the "Yoda" of helping people get their insides to match their outsides. She's a psychotherapist, an author, and, more than anything, a deep well of wisdom. If this podcast has been resonating with you, you'll love this episode. It's packed with thoughtful insights and practical takeaways that'll help you get one step closer to being Radically and Embarrassingly True to Yourself. In this episode, you'll hear Nancy talk about:

• Why being authentic can feel both embarrassing and liberating

• How to stand in your truth and honor someone else's reality

• What it really means to "do the work" with your partner

• And how you'll start to notice your own growth when you take healing seriously

Want to go deeper? Grab Nancy's book, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, and flip through the flashcards one by one. Don't just read them… say them out loud. Let the words settle into your body. Here's the link to grab the book. And don't forget to stay connected with Jay Moon Fields—check out jaymoonfields.com and follow along on Instagram. Got a question for the podcast? Send it in! You might just hear it in a future episode.

Grab your free copy of The Hey, Wait Phrasebook: 12 Things to Say When You'd Normally Fawn, Freeze, or Fight - https://yourstruly.kit.com/0be0a7d69c

Connect with Nancy Dreyfus:

• Official Website: https://nancydreyfus.com/

• Nancy's Book: "Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love": https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399162003/

• Nancy's Psydbar Substack: https://nancydreyfus.substack.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instahttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399162003/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_d1_i3gram.com/nancydreyfus_psyd/

• Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nancydreyfus.bsky.social

Connect with Jay:

• Official Website: https://jaymoonfields.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heywaitwithjay/

• "Yours Truly" Coaching Program: https://jaymoonfields.com/coaching

• Jay Moon Fields' Book "Teaching People Not Poses": https://www.amazon.com/Teaching-People-Not-Poses-Principles/dp/1478326913/

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaymoonfields

Listen in as Jay shares a deeply personal update about a recent health diagnosis and how it is requiring she shift everything in her life. If you are an overfunctioning woman exhausted by people-pleasing, hear why confusing a capacity problem with a discipline problem is costing you everything, and how to finally begin listening to your body.

Jay Moon Fields is a Somatic coaching expert and the host of Hey, Wait, bringing deep insight into authentic living, embodiment, and aligning your insides with your outsides.

In this episode, you'll hear:
• How a surprising genetic diagnosis of dysautonomia and hEDS shifted everything and why body awareness is no longer optional.
• Healing from people pleasing and why extreme physical feedback finally stopped the fawning response.
• The crucial difference between a capacity problem and a discipline problem.
• Using the "wave and ocean" metaphor to reconnect to your vaster self.
• How awe can help you quiet your mind and regulate your nervous system.

Resources Jay mentions in the show:
Dr. Zac Spiritos: https://www.instagram.com/drzacspiritos/

Bendy Bodies Podcast: https://www.bendybodiespodcast.com/

Disjointed Book: https://bookscouter.com/book/9781734794908-disjointed-navigating-the-diagnosis-and-management-of-hyperm

For full resources, links, and to learn more about coaching, visit: https://jaymoonfields.com

Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/jaymoonfields

Grab your free copy of The Hey, Wait Phrasebook: 12 Things to Say When You'd Normally Fawn, Freeze, or Fight - https://yourstruly.kit.com/0be0a7d69c

Credits: Produced by Viv – First Click VA | Original Music by Dalton Grant

Have you ever felt like you go missing in your own life to keep others comfortable? Fawning is an unconscious survival mechanism rooted in the nervous system that prioritizes someone else's happiness and demands over your own experience and boundaries. This episode features two fawners in recovery exploring how to break that trance, stop performing helpfulness, and start trusting your own internal compass.

Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a therapist with a PhD in private practice and the author of the deeply personal book Fawning. She works with survivors of complex childhood trauma and brings deep insight into relational trauma, healing, and the messy, slow work of learning to unfawn.

In this episode, Jay and Dr. Ingrid discuss:
► The crucial difference between genuine kindness or empathy and a fawning response driven by self-abandonment.
► Why chronic fawners often see other people's relational red flags as on-ramps to their own helpfulness.
► How clients, therapists, and coaches often unknowingly fawn with each other during professional sessions.
► How to tell the difference between staying in an asymmetrical relationship to do genuine healing work versus repeating a cycle of re-traumatization.
► The complexities of the "Let Them" theory and how it can sometimes embolden a trauma response instead of setting healthy boundaries.

Learn more about Dr. Ingrid Clayton
► Substack: https://ingridclaytonphd.substack.com/
► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd

If you loved this episode, please help get it to others by subscribing, rating the show, or sharing it with a friend! You can learn more about how to support Jay's work and the show at https://buymeacoffee.com/jaymoonfields

Grab your free copy of The Hey, Wait Phrasebook: 12 Things to Say When You'd Normally Fawn, Freeze, or Fight - https://yourstruly.kit.com/0be0a7d69c

Stay connected with Jay

► Website: https://jaymoonfields.com
► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heywaitwithjay/
►DIY Online Course to Support Unfawning: https://jaymoonfields.com/yours-truly
► 1:1 Coaching: https://jaymoonfields.com/coaching
► Book: https://www.amazon.com/less-lost-finding-yourself-ordinary/dp/B0FSDSG63B
► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaymoonfields/

Have a question for the podcast? Send it in — it may be featured in a future episode.

Credits
This podcast was produced by Viv – First Click VA.
For podcast support, contact: viv@firstclickva.com

For collaborations or general inquiries, contact: hello@jaymoonfields.com

Original Music produced by Dalton Grant

Have you ever wondered why it can be so hard to stay in your body during moments of intimacy? This episode explores the deep connection between your nervous system, your body, and your capacity for pleasure.

Lisa West is a physical therapist, bodyworker, and yoga practitioner of over 30 years and the author of the book Follow the Feeling, A Roadmap to Emotional Freedom.

She has worked with clients navigating midlife, chronic pain, and trauma and brings deep insight into sexual medicine, pelvic health, and nervous system regulation.

In this episode, Jay and Lisa discuss:

► The shift from constant upward, productive energy to honoring the downward-flowing energy (apana vayu) of the body.

► Why arousal requires a baseline parasympathetic (relaxed) state and how to find the sweet spot of flow between relaxation and stimulation.

► The misconception that pain during sex or pelvic exams is normal, and how pelvic floor physical therapy can help.

► The truth about women's arousal, including the fact that only about 30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone.

► Simple, fluid movements and grounding practices—like softening the jaw to access the pelvis—that help you stay present and connected to yourself.

Learn more about Lisa West

► Website: https://lisawestwellness.com

► Instagram: @LisaYogini

► Other links: Follow the Feeling on Amazon and courses on Teachable

If you loved this episode, please help get it to others by subscribing, rating the show, or sharing it with a friend! You can learn more about how to support Jay's work and the show at https://buymeacoffee.com/jaymoonfields

Grab your free copy of The Hey, Wait Phrasebook: 12 Things to Say When You'd Normally Fawn, Freeze, or Fight - https://yourstruly.kit.com/0be0a7d69c

Stay connected with Jay

► Website: https://jaymoonfields.com

► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heywaitwithjay/

► Books: https://www.amazon.com/less-lost-finding-yourself-ordinary/dp/B0FSDSG63B

► Coaching Program: https://jaymoonfields.com/coaching

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaymoonfields/

Have a question for the podcast? Send it in — it may be featured in a future episode.

Credits

This podcast was produced by Viv – First Click VA.

For podcast support, contact: viv@firstclickva.com

For collaborations or general inquiries, contact: hello@jaymoonfields.com

Original Music produced by Dalton Grant