In this episode of Untapped Stories, we sit down with Vanessa Kroll Bennett and Cara Natterson - authors, co-founders of https://lessawkward.com/, and two of the most trusted voices on raising tweens and teens — to talk about sports parenting, what we're getting wrong on the sidelines, and why girls are walking away from sports far too soon.

After working with thousands of parents, educators, and young people — and between them raising kids of their own — Vanessa and Cara have developed a perspective on youth sports that every sports parent needs to hear:

Your job on the sideline is smaller than you think. And that's actually a good thing.

Cheering, encouraging, and showing up matter enormously. But coaching from the stands, narrating every mistake, and turning the car ride home into a film session? That's where things go sideways fast. Vanessa knows this firsthand — her own son told her to zip it during a game. Not as a metaphor. Literally. And she'll be the first to tell you: he had a point.

Cara and Vanessa explain that one of the most powerful things a sports parent can do is create a clear boundary between the field and home — a space where kids can decompress, feel supported unconditionally, and come to you on their own terms rather than being debriefed the moment they get in the car. The research backs it up, and so does lived experience: kids perform better and stay in sports longer when they feel safe rather than evaluated.

From there, the conversation shifts to something both Vanessa and Cara feel urgently about:

Girls are leaving sports too early, and we need to stop it.

The dropout rate for girls in youth sports — particularly as they enter adolescence — is a quiet crisis with enormous long-term consequences. Girls who stay in sports longer develop more confidence, more resilience, more leadership skills, and a stronger sense of identity heading into the teenage years. But somewhere along the way, the experience stops feeling like theirs — and they leave.

Vanessa, who founded Dynamo Girl specifically to build girls' self-esteem through sports, brings a deeply personal lens to this conversation. The answer isn't pushing harder — it's listening better, creating more welcoming environments, and making sure girls feel like sports belong to them, not just to the scoreboard.

The episode also gets into one of the more entertaining debates in sports parenting right now:

Should moms let their kids play football?

Cara and Vanessa don't shy away from it. It's a real question, it deserves a real conversation, and the way families navigate it says a lot about how we weigh risk, autonomy, and a kid's right to choose their own athletic journey.

Throughout the episode, they highlight the core principles that define thoughtful, effective sports parenting:

- Staying quiet on the sideline — even when it's hard

- Creating a "no debrief zone" after games and practices

- Understanding why girls drop out of sports and what parents can do about it

- Letting kids own their athletic identity rather than borrowing yours

- Navigating the real conversations around contact sports and risk

- Building the kind of relationship where kids actually want to talk to you about sports

This episode is a must-listen for any parent navigating youth sports, anyone trying to raise confident, resilient girls, and anyone who's ever had to resist the urge to shout something from the stands — or gotten told to zip it when they didn't.

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