"she's a bitch. she's on your side. & she wants you to fucking win. 🖤"

I have spent my entire life being told I should care about being hot. I spent years intellectually rejecting that premise.

and now, I have decided to deliberately weaponize it. here's how to do it.

zeropercentup.substack.com

Ever wondered if you could turn your life around in one month's time? I'm trying exactly that (and holyshit i really need this to work). Welcome to: THE OCTOBER EXPERIMENT.

Topics covered

• returning to content creation after a month-long hiatus

• building a creative business from scratch

• financial runway and the pressure to make a business work

• overcoming procrastination and perfectionism

• taking your creative career seriously

• entrepreneurship vs. traditional employment

• work-life balance and ambition

• productivity culture and the 5 a.m. routine

• Casey Neistat and early-morning creative work

• building a consistent content schedule

• daily short-form content

• long-form YouTube strategy

• overcoming insecurity around creative work

• shipping imperfect work instead of endlessly optimizing

• discipline vs. self-compassion

• becoming more comfortable being seen online

• authenticity and commercial pressure as a creator

• dating and finding someone aligned with your values

• using October as a one-month personal/business experiment

Want access to extended show notes, transcripts, exclusive HOTGIRL HOMEWORK , and the MOTHERFUCKING SCREENSHOTS?! Jump over to our substack for all the juicy deets x

TimeStamps:00:00 — I'm back, Mom, I can explain
01:25 — Where I've been & why September disappeared
02:40 — The financial runway is getting real
04:15 — The life I said I wanted is actually happening
05:20 — Maybe I need more structure
05:48 — The Nepo Baby Jealousy Confession™
07:00 — Yes, I need to look cute on camera
08:10 — The “either way, I have to work” reframe
10:00 — What happens if I actually go all in?
12:20 — Why I'm done pretending I don't hate certain things
14:15 — Authenticity vs. commercial palatability
16:15 — The weird isolation of building online
18:00 — Fuck work-life balance?
20:15 — Why I'm trying to build wealth instead of just survive
22:20 — Getting out of my head
23:25 — Enter: the 5 a.m. club
26:50 — Five half-baked videos and the fear of being bad
28:10 — Is social critique sometimes just procrastination in disguise?
32:20 — Have I been too gentle with myself?
34:00 — THE OCTOBER EXPERIMENT
35:55 — One long-form a week + one short every day
38:20 — Quality vs. consistency when you're a tiny creator
40:30 — What if I actually commit?
42:20 — The energy I want on camera
45:30 — Why being seen online isn't actually that different from having a job
46:45 — Dating update 👀
48:50 — Lock in with me
49:20 — See you in a monthSearch Terms:creative business / entrepreneurship / content creation / YouTube / productivity / procrastination / 5 a.m. routine / consistency / creator burnout / perfectionism

Yeah.... So, I blew my wildly ambitious deadline, and now... I'm running out of runway. Excellent.

In this month's brutally honest Zero Percent Up update, I talk about falling behind, watching my financial runway get shorter, realizing I've been treating my creative work with too much flexibility, and confronting the possibility that I'll need to take on temporary work if I can't make this business pay for itself fast enough.

I also dig into why I've stepped away from the doom-cycle of the internet, my growing concerns about employment and economic instability, why I keep coming back to entrepreneurship, and what it actually means to bet on yourself when the stakes aren't theoretical anymore.

Topics Covered this Week:

• Missing the original 100K YouTube subscriber deadline

• Reassessing goals after falling behind
• The reality of running out of financial runway
• Building a creative career while facing financial pressure
• Why the online world can feel like an escape hatch from traditional employment
• Taking a temporary side job to protect financial stability
• Balancing entrepreneurship with practical backup plans
• Setting stronger boundaries around creative work
• How flexibility can become a liability without structure
• Procrastination, intimidation, and the uncomfortable parts of building a business
• Dealing with judgment from people who don't understand your goals
• AI, layoffs, and changing employment conditions
• Entrepreneurship, ownership, and financial independence
• The tension between traditional employment and building your own thing
• Social media doom cycles and stepping away from constant negativity
• Why consuming endless negative news can contribute to fear and inaction
• Recommitting to 100K YouTube subscribers by the end of November
• Building income streams before the channel fully monetizes
• Exploring sponsorships, paid offerings, and short-term client work
• Learning to take the business side of a creative career seriously
• What happens when the "fun experiment" becomes financially consequential
• Choosing intensity now in pursuit of long-term autonomy
• Continuing to build despite fear, missed deadlines, and uncertainty

Thank you for listening!! 🖤🪽

If you need: extended shownotes, bonus resources, mini updates, or accessibility tools and episode transcripts, they can all be found on substack. xx

What starts as an episode about optimization culture turns into something much more honest. After a morning run sparks a realization about solving the right problems, a difficult phone call with my father forces a conversation about boundaries, protecting your energy, and why productivity advice often misses the point. Plus: YouTube growth updates, creator strategy, and why chasing the perfect routine won't fix the things that actually matter.

Topics covered in this episode:

• optimization culture and productivity advice
• why self-improvement sometimes misses the real problem
• building better habits without obsessing over routines
• morning running and creating momentum
• perfectionism vs solving the actual issue

• difficult relationships with parents

• setting boundaries with family
• considering no-contact with a parent
• protecting your energy while building a creative career
• emotional resilience during entrepreneurship
• YouTube growth update
• long-form vs short-form content strategy
• creator burnout
• building a business in public
• creative ambition and self-trust

Looking for extended show notes, bonus resources, episode transcripts, and so much more: check us out on substack. 🖤🐎✨

I almost quit youtube this week. I'm serious. And then, genuinely, overnight... everything changed. In this bonus episode I'm sharing the unexpected YouTube growth that happened while I wasn't even posting, how limiting beliefs nearly convinced me to give up, what my analytics actually revealed, and why evidence beats self-doubt every time. If you're building a creative business, growing a YouTube channel, or trying to trust the process, this one's for you.

tldr: WHILE I WAS THINKING ABOUT QUITTING AND HAVING A FULL EXISTENCIAL SPIRAL--MY CHANNEL BECAME ALMOST ELIGIBLE TO MONOTIZE. like, literally overnight. how did I do it?!

Topics Covered:

• surprise YouTube growth while taking a month-long break
• creative burnout and existential spirals
• feeling guilty for wanting a creative career
• imposter syndrome
• limiting beliefs vs actual evidence
• how analytics affected motivation
• building a channel from zero
• first viral long-form videos
• being almost monetized on YouTube!
• why consistent effort compounds
• trusting long-term creative projects
• documenting progress in real time
• learning to believe the data instead of negative self-talk

Want access to the exclusive extended show notes, transcripts, extended accessibility features, and more?? The show's substack is the place to find it. 🖤

What if the thing keeping you stuck isn't fear—but waiting?

This week, I'm reflecting on leaving my dream career, moving to a new city, and why I unexpectedly feel happier than I have in years. We talk about entrepreneurship, burnout, community, consumer culture, social media, and why taking imperfect action is more powerful than waiting for certainty.

If you've been wondering how to change your life, this episode is an invitation to stop waiting. Act on something!! I dare you. xx

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Topics covered on this episode include: entrepreneurship, career change, burnout recovery, taking action, community building, purpose, creative work, manifestation, self-improvement, and changing your life.

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Need accessibility features, transcripts, or just want a little peak at the extended show notes? We've got you! All of that lives on substack.

We all love a dramatic event. Obviously bitch.

But what happens next? What's it like to actually live inside of one of those moments? In this episode get ready to pay witness live, bc we are waking up, the morning after taking one of the wildest leaps of faith in my life to date, and surveying the (honestly?) wreckage of my decisions. There's something about fertile soil coming from scorched earth.... right?

Inside this episode:

• The strange calm that follows a leap of faith
• Waking up in a completely new life
• Why I'm trying to stop looking for an escape hatch

• Action vs. overthinking
• The psychology of irreversible decisions
• Building a creative life with imperfect certainty
• Making peace with backup plans
• Recovering from optimization culture
• Identity, reinvention, and being seen
• Why I'm choosing authenticity over looking impressive
• The freedom that comes from letting others think what they want to think about you (ex: you're embarrassing)

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  Thank you for listening! As always, extended show notes, bonuses, transcripts and extended accessibility options are available on substack. xx 🖤🍀

After a short publishing break, V returns with a bonus episode recorded on location during a major life transition. Reflecting on missed deadlines, perfectionism, and the difference between commitment and flawless execution, she explores the idea of bringing "someday" into the present.

The episode follows a pivotal moment: choosing to let go of hard-earned stability in order to pursue an opportunity that could dramatically accelerate her creative future. Along the way, V unpacks fear, resilience, action, and the surprising realization that the life she's been dreaming about may be much closer than she ever imagined.

It's an honest conversation about compressing timelines, trusting imperfect action, and discovering that the biggest breakthroughs often come not from certainty, but from simply continuing to walk toward the life you want.

This week we're talking about:

• Why perfectionism isn't the same thing as commitment
• What happens when "someday" becomes right now
• Letting go of hard-earned stability to make room for bigger opportunities
• Why action quiets fear better than certainty ever will
• Compressing long-term dreams into much shorter timelines
• Learning to trust imperfect, resilient progress instead of flawless execution

I'm recording this in real time, before I know exactly how everything unfolds. Think of it as a snapshot from the edge of a leap.

If you've been waiting for permission to start before you feel ready, maybe this is it.

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New episodes every week.

Substack: behind-the-scenes writing, accessibility features, transcripts, and bonus essays. 💗