Episode Summary:

Are you struggling with loneliness this holiday season? Many people are. But there's a difference between desiring connection and identifying yourself as "lonely" — and that difference affects your biology, not just your mood.

In this episode, Kristin explores how the words we use to describe our longing for connection can either empower us or trap us in a cycle of withdrawal and isolation. She shares her own experience navigating the first holiday season without her mother, and the three simple actions she took that transformed heartache into genuine connection within days.

Key Takeaways:

• Wanting connection is life force. Calling yourself "lonely" creates an identity that leads to withdrawal
• The loneliness identity triggers cortisol and inflammation, accelerating aging. Acting on the desire for connection releases oxytocin, which youths you.
• You don't have to wait for connection to find you. One small reach — a text, a kind gesture, an unexpected call — can shift everything.

The Practice:

Put your hand on your heart and ask: What's one small thing I can do today to feel more connected? Then do it. Notice how your body responds.

Connect with Kristin at Kristin@KristinvanTilburg.com

What's one thing you wish you had said... that maybe now feels too late to say?

In this episode, I explore the research behind "the backpack" — what 1,200 elders in Cornell's Legacy Project called the weight of their unspoken words, unexpressed love, and unresolved regrets. Their biggest regret? "I wish I had said 'I love you' more."

I share how my mother's death at 103 taught me to leave nothing unsaid — and why carrying that backpack isn't just emotionally heavy. It's aging your biology.

This week's invitation: Choose one regret. Express it — out loud, on paper, or just to yourself. Then let it go. Your cells will thank you.