I’m Trying So Hard Not to Pass This On

“What if my child ends up struggling because of me?”

If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, you’re not alone.

For many mothers navigating eating disorder recovery, one of the deepest fears isn’t only their own healing—it’s the possibility that the food fears, body shame, or wounds they’ve worked so hard to untangle might somehow become part of their child’s story.

And sometimes that fear can make motherhood feel like constant surveillance.

Watching what you say.

Watching what they eat.

Watching how they talk about their body.

Replaying the comment you wish you hadn’t made.

Wondering whether one imperfect moment means you’ve already done damage.

In this episode of Lift the Shame, we’re staying with that fear—and gently questioning the enormous responsibility mothers can place on themselves when “I want things to be different for my child” quietly becomes “Then I can never get this wrong.”

Because eating disorders are complex. You have influence, but you do not have total control. And breaking a generational cycle doesn’t require you to become a perfectly healed mother.

Sometimes it looks much more ordinary than that.

Noticing.

Getting curious.

Seeking support.

Taking responsibility.

Coming back.

Repairing when something needs repair.

And allowing the relationship to be bigger than one hard moment.

In this episode, we’ll explore how the desire to protect our children can turn into hypervigilance, why influence and control are not the same thing, how to think about repair without turning it into another standard to perform perfectly, and what it might really mean to change what gets passed down.

Because your children aren’t only witnessing your wounds.

They’re also witnessing what you do with them.

🌿 A Gentle Invitation

If there’s a moment you’ve been replaying lately, instead of asking:

“Did I ruin something?”

I wonder if you could ask:

“Is there anything here I want to return to?”

Maybe there is.

Maybe there isn’t.

But if something needs tending, repair doesn’t have to be elaborate.

Sometimes healing happens in the quiet moment when we decide to come back.

For more, check out Lift the Shame, our free virtual support group & community for mothers and moms-to-be in eating disorder recovery: https://www.crystalkarges.com/lift-the-shame-online-support-group