The Part of Me That Clings to Control

In this episode of Lift the Shame: The Podcast, Crystal explores one of the tenderest places in eating disorder recovery and motherhood: the part of us that still reaches for control.

For many mothers in recovery, control can feel especially shameful. You may deeply believe in food freedom, body trust, intuitive eating, and raising children without shame — and still feel something inside you tighten around snacks, sugar, appetite, body changes, meal routines, or uncertainty.

But the controlling part of you is not your enemy. It may be a protector that learned control was the only way to feel safe.

This episode gently reframes control not as proof that you are failing, but as a signal that something vulnerable inside you needs care. Crystal explores how control can show up around your child’s eating, your own body, postpartum changes, family meals, and the fear of passing food and body shame on.

In this episode, we explore:

Why control can feel so comforting in eating disorder recovery

How motherhood can activate old fears around food, bodies, and uncertainty

Why the controlling part may be a protector, not the enemy

The difference between curiosity and obedience when fear shows up

How control can offer temporary relief but long-term fragility

What it means to build safety that is not dependent on controlling food or bodies

A gentle reflection practice for the moments when you feel the urge to grip tighter

Reflection question:

What is this part of me trying to protect?

Gentle practice:

The next time you notice the urge to control around food, your body, your child’s eating, snacks, sugar, exercise, or body changes, pause and gently ask:

What is this part of me trying to protect?

Then try saying:

Thank you for trying to protect me. I know you are scared. But control is not the only way we can feel safe now.

Gentle reminder:

There is a part of me that wants control right now. That part makes sense. And that part does not have to lead.

Join Lift the Shame

If this conversation named something you’ve been carrying quietly, I’d love to invite you to Lift the Shame, my free monthly support group for mothers and moms-to-be in eating disorder recovery.

It is a gentle space to be with other mothers who understand this overlap — motherhood, recovery, food, body image, control, feeding triggers, and the fear of passing it on.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

Learn more about Lift the Shame and join here: https://www.crystalkarges.com/lift-the-shame-online-support-group