What happens when we expect people to know what we need without ever actually telling them?

We tell ourselves things like, “If they cared, they would know,” “I shouldn’t have to ask,” or “If I have to tell them, it doesn’t count.” Then when people fail to meet expectations they never knew existed, disappointment can quickly turn into resentment.

In this episode of You Would Think, we talk about the difference between healthy expectations and misplaced expectations—and why clear communication is one of the kindest things we can bring into a relationship.

I also break down the CLEAR Framework for navigating expectations:

C — Clarify what you actually want
L — Locate the responsibility
E — Express it clearly
A — Allow them to choose
R — Respond to reality

Because your job isn’t to make people respond the way you want them to.

Your job is clarity. Their job is choice.

And sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is stop expecting someone to become who we wish they were and start responding to who they’ve actually shown us they are.

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching:
josh.simcosky@gmail.com

#YouWouldThink #Relationships #HealthyRelationships #Communication #Expectations #Boundaries #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalHealth #Recovery #LifeCoaching #SelfAwareness

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: Y5OMDSUVKLPPVGJG

What if one of the biggest things keeping you stuck isn't what's happening around you—but believing that what's happening around you gets to determine what happens within you?

In this episode of When Helping Hurts, I unpack a mindset I've had to confront repeatedly in my own recovery: viewing life as a series of things happening to me.

Someone disappoints me. Plans fall apart. A relationship changes. Someone doesn't understand me. Something happens that I never would've chosen.

And suddenly I'm asking:

Why is this happening to me?

But what if that's the wrong question?

There are things in life we absolutely don't choose. People hurt us. Relationships end. People get sick. We experience loss, betrayal, disappointment, and circumstances completely outside our control. Acknowledging personal responsibility doesn't mean pretending those things didn't happen—and it doesn't mean taking the blame for someone else's choices.

Responsibility is not the same thing as blame.

You may not be responsible for what happened to you, but you are responsible for what you do with what happened to you.

That's where stewardship begins.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why your perception can be real without your interpretation being true
• The difference between God's sovereignty and passivity
• What Joseph's story teaches us about circumstances we never chose
• How people-pleasing and codependency cause us to give away stewardship of our lives
• Why trying to control other people's emotions, choices, healing, and opinions isn't love
• The difference between sobriety and actual recovery
• Why asking "What am I bringing into this?" can change everything
• How to stop asking "Why me?" and start asking "God, what does faithfulness look like here?"
• How to take responsibility for your life without taking responsibility for everyone else's

You don't have to control the outcome.

You don't have to make somebody understand you.

You don't have to make somebody change.

You don't have to know what's going to happen six months from now.

You don't have to control tomorrow.

You have to faithfully steward today.

Maybe the question isn't, "Why is this happening to me?"

Maybe the better question is:

"What am I going to do with what God has put in front of me?"

If this episode resonates with you, like the video, subscribe to You Would Think, and share it with someone who may need to hear it.

And if you have a question, don't feel comfortable leaving a public comment, or you're interested in one-on-one coaching, you can reach out using the contact information in the description.

#WhenHelpingHurts #YouWouldThink #Recovery #ChristianRecovery #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #PersonalResponsibility #Stewardship #Faith #ChristianLiving #EmotionalHealth #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #SoberLife #Sobriety #Healing #Freedom #ChristianMen #LifeCoaching

What if some of the things you believe about recovery, grace, love, emotions, and even yourself… are wrong?

On August 15th, 2020, I took my last drink.

Six years later, I’ve learned a lot—but maybe more importantly, I’ve learned just how wrong I can be.

So instead of celebrating six years of sobriety by telling you everything I’ve learned, I want to talk about something different:

In this special six-year sobriety episode of You Would Think, I share six misconceptions that recovery, Scripture, and my relationship with Jesus have slowly dismantled.

Together we’ll explore:

✔️ Why sobriety is the bare minimum—not the goal
✔️ Why recovery can actually make life harder before it gets better
✔️ How people-pleasing and codependency can disguise themselves as love
✔️ Why authentic grace doesn’t just forgive us—it transforms us
✔️ Why honesty requires more than simply “telling the truth”

Recovery hasn’t just taught me new things.

It has dismantled old things.

📖 KEY SCRIPTURE

• Proverbs 8:34
• Galatians 5:22-23

🎙️ ABOUT YOU WOULD THINK

You Would Think is a podcast devoted to confronting our own thoughts and feelings so we can learn to face reality as it is instead of continuing to be disappointed by how we wish it was.

We talk honestly about faith, recovery, addiction, codependency, people-pleasing, relationships, emotional health, biblical wisdom, boundaries, and what it looks like to follow Jesus in the real world.

If this episode encouraged you, I’d love for you to:

👍 Like the video
💬 Leave a comment: What’s something you once believed that life, recovery, or God eventually showed you that you were wrong about?
📲 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it
🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes

📬 Join the Newsletter:
https://youwouldthink.riverside.com/newsletter

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching:
mailto:josh.simcosky@gmail.com

#SixYearsSober #Sobriety #AddictionRecovery #Recovery #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndRecovery #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #EmotionalHealth #MentalHealth #ChristianPodcast #RecoveryPodcast #Jesus #Faith #PersonalGrowth

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: OQVVVE3SVPUZKFLW, UYXTGYVLBB7NBZU2

Have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship because you believed someone would eventually change?

In this episode of When Helping Hurts, I share the conversation I wish someone had with me when I was twenty years old.

As a recovering people pleaser, codependent, and addict, I spent years building relationships on potential instead of patterns. I convinced myself that if I just loved harder, sacrificed more, explained things one more time, or waited a little longer, people would eventually become who they promised they would be.

I was wrong.

Using Proverbs 13:20 as our anchor, we'll unpack one of the most overlooked relationship principles in all of Scripture:

"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."

Together we'll explore:

✔️ Why codependency confuses love with fixing
✔️ The difference between grace and enabling
✔️ Why healthy boundaries are biblical—not selfish
✔️ How to recognize the difference between someone's potential and their patterns
✔️ What Proverbs actually means by "a fool"
✔️ Why trust is built on consistency, not chemistry
✔️ How the people you walk with shape the direction of your life

This episode is not about judging people or writing them off.

It's about taking responsibility for who we choose to walk through life with.

If you've ever struggled with people pleasing, codependency, unhealthy relationships, narcissistic abuse, addiction recovery, or setting biblical boundaries, I hope this conversation encourages you.

And if you have a teenager or young adult in your life who's beginning to navigate friendships, dating, or relationships, please consider sharing this episode with them. I genuinely believe learning these biblical principles earlier could save years of unnecessary pain.

📖 Key Scriptures

• Proverbs 13:20
• Proverbs 10:8
• Proverbs 12:15
• Matthew 7:16-20
• John 2:23-25

🎙️ ABOUT THIS SERIES

When Helping Hurts is a series on the You Would Think podcast where we explore biblical wisdom, recovery, boundaries, codependency, trauma, addiction, relationships, and what it means to follow Jesus in the real world.

📬 CONNECT WITH ME

If this episode encouraged you, I'd love to hear from you in the comments.

If you have a question or you're interested in one-on-one faith-based recovery and life coaching, my contact information is in the description below.

Please consider liking, subscribing, and sharing this episode with someone who needs it.

Keywords: codependency, people pleasing, biblical boundaries, Christian relationships, Proverbs 13:20, healthy relationships, narcissism, recovery, addiction recovery, Christian podcast, toxic relationships, emotional health, biblical wisdom, faith and recovery, setting boundaries, trust, people pleaser recovery, codependent recovery, relationship advice, Christian counseling

#WhenHelpingHurts #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #BiblicalBoundaries #HealthyRelationships #ChristianPodcast #Recovery #Proverbs1320 #Faith #RelationshipAdvice #AddictionRecovery #PersonalGrowth

What if "follow your heart" isn't just bad advice... but the exact opposite of what Scripture teaches?

In this episode of You Would Think, we dive into one of the most misunderstood verses in the Bible:

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." – Proverbs 4:23

What does it actually mean to "guard your heart"?

Is the heart simply our emotions, or is it something much deeper? Why would God tell us to guard our hearts if Jeremiah says they're deceitful? And what does it look like to live this out in everyday life, relationships, recovery, and following Christ?

In this episode, we explore:

✅ What the Bible really means by the word heart (Hebrew: leb)
✅ Why Proverbs 4:23 may be one of the most practical verses in Scripture
✅ Why God gives us a new heart but still commands us to guard it
✅ The difference between trusting your heart and trusting the Lord with all your heart
✅ How unguarded relationships nearly destroyed my life and fueled my addiction
✅ Why whatever captures your heart eventually directs your life
✅ Practical ways to guard your heart in a world competing for your attention

If you've ever struggled with people-pleasing, codependency, addiction, unhealthy relationships, or simply trying to follow Jesus faithfully, I hope this conversation encourages and challenges you.

Remember:

You don't guard your heart because it's trustworthy. You guard it because it's influential. Everything you become flows from it.

If this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to:

👍 Like the video
💬 Leave a comment sharing your thoughts or questions
📲 Share it with someone who needs to hear it
🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss future episodes

Thanks for watching, and remember...

Just because you have a thought or feeling doesn't make it true.

God bless.

#GuardYourHeart #Proverbs423 #ChristianPodcast #Faith #Recovery #BiblicalWisdom #MentalHealth #Codependency #AddictionRecovery #PersonalGrowth #ChristianLiving #Discipleship #YouWouldThink #BibleStudy #TrustGod

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: FHYNUWBXJIVS6KVA

Have you ever been told to "follow your heart"?

It sounds inspiring.

It sounds authentic.

It sounds like good advice.

But what if it's actually one of the most dangerous pieces of advice you'll ever hear?

In this episode of You Would Think, I challenge one of the most common cultural sayings through the lens of Scripture. We'll explore why the Bible never tells us to follow our hearts and why Jesus offers us something far better.

Drawing from my own story of addiction, alcoholism, and recovery, I'll share how following my feelings led me deeper into bondage—and how God transformed my life by giving me a new heart and renewing my mind.

In this episode, we'll discuss:

• Why "Follow Your Heart" is such a dangerous philosophy

• What the Bible really teaches about the human heart

• Why feelings are real but make terrible authorities

• The difference between following your heart and following Christ

• Eve in the Garden of Eden vs. Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane

• God's promise of a new heart in Ezekiel 36

• How Ephesians 4 and Romans 12 explain spiritual transformation

• My personal testimony of addiction, surrender, and salvation

Freedom isn't found by trusting yourself.

Freedom is found by following Jesus.

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

• Genesis 3

• Jeremiah 17:9

• Proverbs 28:26

• Ezekiel 36:26

• Romans 12:2

• Ephesians 4:22–24

• Luke 22:42

👍 If this episode encouraged or challenged you, please:

• Like the video

• Subscribe to the channel

• Leave a comment

• Share it with someone who needs to hear it

📬 Join the Newsletter:

https://youwouldthink.riverside.com/newsletter

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching:

mailto:josh.simcosky@gmail.com

—

You Would Think is a Christian podcast devoted to confronting our own thoughts and feelings so we can learn to face reality as it is instead of continuing to be disappointed in how we wish it was.

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: 4CTQ3SDEZFBZTUWY

#FollowYourHeart #ChristianPodcast #BiblicalTruth #Faith #Jesus #Discipleship #ChristianLiving #AddictionRecovery #Recovery #Sobriety #MentalHealth #RenewYourMind #IdentityInChrist #BibleStudy

"Have nothing to do with such people." — 2 Timothy 3:5

Wait... the Bible actually says that?

In this episode of When Helping Hurts, we unpack one of the most misunderstood—and often ignored—commands in the New Testament.

If you're a recovering people pleaser, codependent, or someone who has spent years trying to fix, rescue, or tolerate destructive behavior in the name of "love," this episode is for you.

We'll explore why biblical love doesn't always mean unlimited access, why boundaries are an act of obedience rather than selfishness, and how God calls us to protect what He has entrusted to us without becoming bitter, controlling, or unforgiving.

This isn't about canceling people.

It's not about avoiding conflict.

And it's definitely not permission to weaponize boundaries.

It's about learning the difference between loving someone... and allowing destructive patterns to continue.

📖 In this episode:

• What 2 Timothy 3:1–5 actually teaches
• Why Paul says, "Have nothing to do with such people"
• The difference between a mistake and an ongoing pattern
• Why Jesus didn't give everyone unlimited access to Himself
• The connection between codependency and enabling
• Why guilt and conviction are not the same thing
• Why you don't need to diagnose someone to recognize unhealthy behavior
• What biblical love actually sounds like
• Why boundaries protect what God has entrusted to you

📚 Scriptures Referenced

• 2 Timothy 3:1–9
• John 2:23–25
• 1 Corinthians 15:33
• Proverbs 4:23
• Proverbs 13:20
• Psalm 34
• Psalm 51
• Psalm 138
• Proverbs 15

📬 Join the Newsletter:

https://youwouldthink.riverside.com/newsletter

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching:

mailto:josh.simcosky@gmail.com

🎵 Music licensed through Soundstripe.

🎙 About When Helping Hurts

When Helping Hurts is a series on the You Would Think podcast where we apply Scripture to recovery from codependency, people pleasing, and unhealthy relationship patterns.

My prayer is that these episodes help you stop trying to control what God never asked you to control and instead find the freedom that comes through obedience to Christ.

💬 I'd love to hear from you:

What was your biggest takeaway from this episode?

Have you ever confused love with unlimited access?

Leave a comment below.

👍 If this episode encouraged you, please:

• Like this video
• Subscribe to the channel
• Share it with someone who needs to hear it

Until next time...

Remember:

Helping always hurts when we try to do someone else's work instead of trusting God to do His.

#WhenHelpingHurts #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #2Timothy3 #ChristianRecovery #BiblicalBoundaries #Recovery #YouWouldThink

Have you ever felt like all the work you're putting into recovery isn't accomplishing anything?

The meetings.
The prayers.
The counseling.
The Scripture.
The confessions.
The ordinary faithfulness.

What if you're not failing?

What if you're just watching the wrong timestamp?

In this episode of You Would Think, I share one of the most powerful illustrations I've ever encountered. A simple woodworking video about transforming an old whiskey barrel into an artisan end-grain butcher block became a vivid picture of addiction recovery, Christian discipleship, sanctification, and God's process of transformation.

Sometimes transformation feels like destruction.

Sometimes healing feels like being cut apart.

But what if the Craftsman already sees something beautiful that you can't yet recognize?

If you're tired, discouraged, or wondering whether all the work you're doing is making any difference, I hope this episode encourages you to trust the process and remember that God is never finished with His workmanship.

📖 Scripture
Ephesians 2:10
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

💬 Question for you:
Which part of the woodworking process resonated with you the most? Let me know in the comments!

🎥 Original Woodworking Video (Ryan Hawkins):
https://youtu.be/uiu0Hkd6mb0?si=cX6WyxQc2Y0dcAI5

📬 Join the Newsletter:
https://youwouldthink.riverside.com/newsletter

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching:
josh.simcosky@gmail.com

🎵 Music licensed through Soundstripe.
License Code: LI970WGGIX5J4SKA

#YouWouldThink #ChristianRecovery #AddictionRecovery #RecoveryJourney #FaithOverFear #TrustTheProcess #Ephesians210 #IdentityInChrist #BiblicalRecovery #SpiritualGrowth #Sanctification #MentalHealth #Codependency #JesusChrist #ChristianPodcast