What happens when we expect people to know what we need without ever actually telling them?

We tell ourselves things like, “If they cared, they would know,” “I shouldn’t have to ask,” or “If I have to tell them, it doesn’t count.” Then when people fail to meet expectations they never knew existed, disappointment can quickly turn into resentment.

In this episode of You Would Think, we talk about the difference between healthy expectations and misplaced expectations—and why clear communication is one of the kindest things we can bring into a relationship.

I also break down the CLEAR Framework for navigating expectations:

C — Clarify what you actually want
L — Locate the responsibility
E — Express it clearly
A — Allow them to choose
R — Respond to reality

Because your job isn’t to make people respond the way you want them to.

Your job is clarity. Their job is choice.

And sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is stop expecting someone to become who we wish they were and start responding to who they’ve actually shown us they are.

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching:
josh.simcosky@gmail.com

#YouWouldThink #Relationships #HealthyRelationships #Communication #Expectations #Boundaries #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalHealth #Recovery #LifeCoaching #SelfAwareness

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: Y5OMDSUVKLPPVGJG

What if one of the biggest things keeping you stuck isn't what's happening around you—but believing that what's happening around you gets to determine what happens within you?

In this episode of When Helping Hurts, I unpack a mindset I've had to confront repeatedly in my own recovery: viewing life as a series of things happening to me.

Someone disappoints me. Plans fall apart. A relationship changes. Someone doesn't understand me. Something happens that I never would've chosen.

And suddenly I'm asking:

Why is this happening to me?

But what if that's the wrong question?

There are things in life we absolutely don't choose. People hurt us. Relationships end. People get sick. We experience loss, betrayal, disappointment, and circumstances completely outside our control. Acknowledging personal responsibility doesn't mean pretending those things didn't happen—and it doesn't mean taking the blame for someone else's choices.

Responsibility is not the same thing as blame.

You may not be responsible for what happened to you, but you are responsible for what you do with what happened to you.

That's where stewardship begins.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why your perception can be real without your interpretation being true
• The difference between God's sovereignty and passivity
• What Joseph's story teaches us about circumstances we never chose
• How people-pleasing and codependency cause us to give away stewardship of our lives
• Why trying to control other people's emotions, choices, healing, and opinions isn't love
• The difference between sobriety and actual recovery
• Why asking "What am I bringing into this?" can change everything
• How to stop asking "Why me?" and start asking "God, what does faithfulness look like here?"
• How to take responsibility for your life without taking responsibility for everyone else's

You don't have to control the outcome.

You don't have to make somebody understand you.

You don't have to make somebody change.

You don't have to know what's going to happen six months from now.

You don't have to control tomorrow.

You have to faithfully steward today.

Maybe the question isn't, "Why is this happening to me?"

Maybe the better question is:

"What am I going to do with what God has put in front of me?"

If this episode resonates with you, like the video, subscribe to You Would Think, and share it with someone who may need to hear it.

And if you have a question, don't feel comfortable leaving a public comment, or you're interested in one-on-one coaching, you can reach out using the contact information in the description.

#WhenHelpingHurts #YouWouldThink #Recovery #ChristianRecovery #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #PersonalResponsibility #Stewardship #Faith #ChristianLiving #EmotionalHealth #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #SoberLife #Sobriety #Healing #Freedom #ChristianMen #LifeCoaching

What if some of the things you believe about recovery, grace, love, emotions, and even yourself… are wrong?

On August 15th, 2020, I took my last drink.

Six years later, I’ve learned a lot—but maybe more importantly, I’ve learned just how wrong I can be.

So instead of celebrating six years of sobriety by telling you everything I’ve learned, I want to talk about something different:

In this special six-year sobriety episode of You Would Think, I share six misconceptions that recovery, Scripture, and my relationship with Jesus have slowly dismantled.

Together we’ll explore:

✔️ Why sobriety is the bare minimum—not the goal
✔️ Why recovery can actually make life harder before it gets better
✔️ How people-pleasing and codependency can disguise themselves as love
✔️ Why authentic grace doesn’t just forgive us—it transforms us
✔️ Why honesty requires more than simply “telling the truth”

Recovery hasn’t just taught me new things.

It has dismantled old things.

📖 KEY SCRIPTURE

• Proverbs 8:34
• Galatians 5:22-23

🎙️ ABOUT YOU WOULD THINK

You Would Think is a podcast devoted to confronting our own thoughts and feelings so we can learn to face reality as it is instead of continuing to be disappointed by how we wish it was.

We talk honestly about faith, recovery, addiction, codependency, people-pleasing, relationships, emotional health, biblical wisdom, boundaries, and what it looks like to follow Jesus in the real world.

If this episode encouraged you, I’d love for you to:

👍 Like the video
💬 Leave a comment: What’s something you once believed that life, recovery, or God eventually showed you that you were wrong about?
📲 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it
🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes

📬 Join the Newsletter:
https://youwouldthink.riverside.com/newsletter

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching:
mailto:josh.simcosky@gmail.com

#SixYearsSober #Sobriety #AddictionRecovery #Recovery #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndRecovery #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #EmotionalHealth #MentalHealth #ChristianPodcast #RecoveryPodcast #Jesus #Faith #PersonalGrowth

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: OQVVVE3SVPUZKFLW, UYXTGYVLBB7NBZU2