This week on the pod, Jalen Hurts quietly marries his college sweetheart; a Boston Marathon runner proposes at Mile 25; and Diplo makes you pay $100 to run a 5K (concert wristband included). One Cavinder twin flashes a Dallas-Cowboy-sized diamond while the other drags ex-QB Carson Beck on YouTube. Bill Belichick’s 24-year-old “COO” girlfriend trademarks Chapel Bill and joins him in the Hurricanes owners’ suite—because, of course, she does.

Playoff season hits hard: NHL ratings dip 18 percent, but Connor McDavid’s four-point magic, wag-jacket couture, and talk of a Gabriel Landeskog miracle return keep us glued. At MSG, 50 Cent, Ben Stiller, the Jonas Bros, and Timothée Chalamet watch the Knicks while Jason Tatum takes a tough-love wrist check. Meanwhile, Aaron Rodgers delivers a whole lot of nothing on McAfee, and MLB umps somehow call an Aaron Judge bomb foul thanks to minor-league foul poles.

The legal circus belongs to Shannon Sharpe: a $50 million civil suit, $10 million hush offers, Tony Busby theatrics, and a looming “release-the-tape” showdown that has everyone screaming remove me from the group chat.

MVPs go to Team USA women’s hockey for grabbing world-championship gold and to pickleball for officially replacing golf as Wall Street’s networking flex. LVPs land on MLB’s foul-pole fiasco and Mavericks GM Nico Harrison’s “it’s awesome, but not in a good way” presser.

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This week, Parker and Haley dive headfirst into some of the messiest sports drama we’ve seen in a minute. First up: world #1 tennis player Jannik Sinner’s doping scandal gets a twist courtesy of his fired trainer, who drops some suspiciously well-timed receipts. Then it’s over to the NFL, where Tyreek Hill’s domestic chaos escalates with a 911 call, a smashed computer, and yet another divorce filing.

Things take a turn for the very NSFW when alleged leaked videos of Titans QB Will Levis and influencer ex Gia Duddy surface online—so yes, we conducted some uncomfortable (but necessary) investigative journalism. NBA Playoffs are officially here, and Parker’s brother joins the pod to break down everything you need to know—including a fiery update on Haley’s Milwaukee 9 situationship.

Plus: a Braves broadcaster tries to pick up a girl on air, Budweiser nails a genius goalie-themed campaign, and MVPs/LVPs range from Rory McIlroy’s long-awaited Masters win to JD Vance fumbling Ohio State’s trophy at the White House. Buckle up—this one’s got it all.

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This week on the pod, Haley flies to Chicago on a whim—hoping for a flirty encore with a MILWAUKEE 9 only to face next-level ghosting. Meanwhile, the pod welcomes two new sports babies: Kylie Kelsey’s daughter Finley (aka “Finn”), plus a heart-tugging cosmic newborn for Johnny Gaudreau’s family that perfectly matches her late husband’s birth stats.

Parker and Haley sift through March Madness woes (RIP, Duke and Auburn) and roll their eyes at the lack of Cinderella drama—then dive into the NCAA lawsuit settlement that could reshape college sports with salaries, roster limits, and a real payday for ex-players. The MLB snags an LVP for underpaying its minor-leaguers (hello, near-poverty wages), while Pat McAfee lands in hot water for spreading a false Ole Miss rumor that “ruined” one freshman’s life. Balancing the scales: Patrick Kane nabs an MVP for breaking the U.S.-born 20-goal-season record, and Kaylon Saunders hosts an LGBTQ-friendly football camp in honor of his openly gay brother. File under: cosmic babies, chaotic Chicago trips, and an NCAA on the brink.

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