Curiosity impacts the way we experience ourselves and the people we're in relationship with. But when we believe we already know someone, we can stop asking questions and start relating to the version of them we've created in our minds, rather than who they actually are today.

The same can happen with ourselves. We accept our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors as simply who we are, without questioning where they came from or whether they still fit. Curiosity gives us an opportunity to question those assumptions and better understand ourselves and others.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why curiosity matters in continuing to get to know people as they grow and change.
• The ways our assumptions about someone can prevent us from seeing who they actually are.
• What curiosity about our own thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors can reveal about ourselves.
• The gap between how we believe we show up in relationships and how others actually experience us.
• How asking questions during disagreements can create shared understanding, even when we don't agree.

“... if that's how you've always done it, how do you give yourself an opportunity to do it differently?”

“Just because we believe we show up certain ways in relationships does not mean that's how we actually show up. And that does not mean that that is how somebody experiences us showing up.”

“Do you like the idea of the person? Do you like what this person does for you? Do you like what they bring into your life? Do you like how they make you feel or do you like them?”

“Safety doesn't come because we agree about everything. It comes because we're feeling understood. I don't have to agree with where you landed but I can understand how you got there.”

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Join me over on Substack at The Better Question for more of what I'm thinking about and exploring. https://ajarutledge.substack.com/

To get in touch about the show: ajarutledgecoaching@gmail.com.