How do you know when a spouse’s repentance is real?

In Part 2 of their story, Justin and Trisha Davis pick up where Part 1 left off. Trisha was filing for divorce when Justin came home and confessed everything, not as an excuse but from real brokenness. Brad Rhoads talks with them about what changed that day and the two-year road of restoration that followed: moving away, working outside ministry, sitting in church as “regular people,” and slowly being loved back to God by a local church community.

They also share how a reluctant first testimony became Refine Us Ministries, why they now focus on pastors and their spouses, and the resources they offer couples today.

In This Episode:
- What happened the day Justin fully confessed
- How to recognize real brokenness and repentance
- Red flags when someone tries to dictate the terms of recovery
- Starting over outside of ministry
- How the parable of the talents changed Trisha’s mind about sharing their story
- Being fully known and loved anyway
- Why pastors’ marriages are often so lonely
- Refine Us resources: Mentor Us and Refine Us weekends

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🔑 KEY IDEAS:
- You can’t fake brokenness. It shows up as a posture of “whatever it takes,” driven by a desire to know God and be healed, not just to fix things.
- Real repentance takes full responsibility with no excuses.
- When an offending spouse tries to dictate the terms of recovery or resists openness, it’s a red flag.
- A full confession can be the starting line of restoration, not the finish line.
- Stepping away from a title or role can help a couple rebuild an identity that isn’t built on performance.
- A healthy church community can love a wounded couple back into a relationship with God.
- A restored marriage is a gift to steward and share, not bury (the parable of the talents).
- Intimacy means being fully known. Grace says, “I know you fully and I love you anyway.”
- Many pastors and their spouses are lonely and afraid that being honest about their struggles could cost them their jobs.
- Healthy leaders’ marriages strengthen whole churches.


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