If you're a teacher and someone asked you right now what you actually want, could you answer? Most teachers can't. You can tell me exactly what your students need, what your admin needs, what your own kids need. Ask what you want, and it's silence.

This is part 2 of a 3-part replay series pulled from the exact episodes that came out with my book two years ago, and they still hold up completely. We're covering the second step of the Inside-Out Teacher Framework: Choose. Once you've started observing your thoughts, feelings, and nervous system (that was part 1), this episode is about how to know what you actually want and use that to make real decisions, instead of letting everyone else's needs decide for you.

WATCH the episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB0N0UbkloQ

Why Teachers Struggle to Know What They Want (And What to Do About It)

If you're a people pleaser, this will probably sound familiar: you go looking for the answer to "what do I want" and come up blank, because you've spent years answering "what does everyone else need" instead. In this episode, you'll hear why that happens, why people pleasing shows up in almost every coaching conversation I have with teachers, and how to start figuring out what you actually want even when people pleasing has been your default for years.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

How to know what you actually want when people pleasing has made that question feel impossible to answer, the concept of "the manual" (the invisible rulebook we hold other people to, and hold ourselves to), why wanting love and belonging is the root of most people-pleasing habits, the difference between choosing consciously as a teacher versus running on autopilot, how to use your own senses and values to figure out what you want, why your brain fights to be right more than it wants you to be happy, and why goal-setting belongs in "Choose" and not "Align."

Episode Timestamps

0:00 Why teachers rarely stop to ask what they want

0:58 Podcast intro

1:05 Welcome back, part 2 of the coaching framework series

1:50 Signed book copies giveaway

3:03 The three steps: observe, choose, align (this week: choose)

4:00 Why to watch on YouTube, and how to enter the giveaway

5:00 The October masterclass

5:36 Get on the Teacher Brain Break newsletter

6:06 Today's episode starts: revisiting the book launch

7:00 Quick recap of step one, Observe

9:03 Observing your feelings

9:41 Observing your nervous system

10:11 What's actually in your control

11:07 How the book is structured, and the staircase visual

12:26 Reading the book's "Choose Your Direction" section intro

13:03 The Notebook scene: "what do YOU want?"

14:11 Why "I don't know" is such a common answer

14:55 Love and belonging as the root of people pleasing

15:47 Why people pleasing shows up everywhere, not just teaching

16:47 The concept of "the manual"

18:00 Tapping into your senses to figure out what you love

19:07 What are your top values?

19:56 Why did you decide to teach in the first place?

20:11 Example: switching up her homeschool curriculum

20:57 Example: what a week in Maui taught her about choosing direction

22:11 Chapter 7: the power of conscious thinking

22:40 Why your brain would rather be right than happy

23:30 The intentional thought model, plus bridge and ladder thoughts

24:03 Chapter 8: goal setting

24:37 Why we set goals, even though the goal itself isn't what makes us happy

25:36 Using the self-coaching model to build a goal backwards

27:00 Why goal-setting belongs in "Choose" and not "Align"

27:56 Recap of the episode

29:16 Why the book gives clarity even to longtime club members

30:53 What's coming in part 3, Align

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Visit the website: educateandrejuvenate.com

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this episode resonated, part 3 picks up right where this one leaves off, covering how you actually follow through on what you choose instead of falling back into autopilot.

Teacher burnout isn't actually about teaching. Here's what it really is, and where to start.

This is part 1 of a 3-part replay series pulled from the exact episodes that came out with my book two years ago, and they still hold up completely. We're covering the first step of what I now call the Inside-Out Teacher Framework: Observe. Not observing like a principal walking in with a checklist, but observing like a student teacher who's just genuinely curious about what's going on.

In this episode, you'll learn why teacher burnout and overwhelm are rarely about the job itself, the difference between your thoughts and your feelings (and why most of us mix those up constantly), a Viktor Frankl story that reframes the space between what happens to you and how you respond, and why your nervous system might be running the whole show without you realizing it. If you've been searching for teacher self care ideas or ways to deal with overwhelm as an educator, this is where to actually start.

New episodes of the podcast officially relaunch September 25th, and I'm hosting a masterclass at the end of October that goes even deeper into this framework.

WATCH the episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB0N0UbkloQ

⏱️ Timestamps

0:00 Why teacher burnout usually isn't about teaching

0:58 Podcast intro

1:05 Why we're replaying these episodes now

2:00 The 3-part series and the September 25th relaunch

3:10 Get on the Teacher Brain Break newsletter

4:15 The book, the framework, and how it came together

7:00 Why the framework came down to three simple steps

9:15 Step 1: What it means to observe yourself

11:00 The "principal vs. student teacher" way to self-observe

13:00 Why observing yourself matters so much

14:00 You're not trying to fix anything yet

15:45 The Instagram poll on teacher burnout

17:30 What's actually driving teacher burnout

19:00 The 3 things to observe: thoughts, feelings, nervous system

20:00 Thoughts vs. feelings (and why we mix them up)

21:00 The Viktor Frankl story on choosing your response

22:00 Cognitive distortions to watch for

23:45 Why you can't just bury your feelings

25:45 Your nervous system and the fight, flight, freeze, fawn response

28:00 The safety check flowchart for regulating yourself

29:45 Self compassion and why change takes time

31:00 What's coming in part 2: Choose

🔗 Links

Get on the Teacher Brain Break list: educateandrejuvenate.com/teacherbrainbreak

Grab the book this episode is based on: educateandrejuvenate.com/book

Next in this series: Part 2, Choose

If you're a teacher dealing with burnout, overwhelm, or feeling like you're always putting everyone else first, this one's for you. Subscribe so you catch part 2 and 3, plus all the brand new episodes starting September 25th.

Have you ever caught yourself calling a student lazy, unmotivated, or "the bad kid" even just in your head?

In this episode from the archives, Kelsey walks you through where that label really comes from and what to do instead. Using the thought model (one tool inside the Inside Out Teacher Framework), she breaks down how our beliefs about a student's behavior, not the behavior itself, shape the way we show up in the classroom. You'll learn why "they're lazy" is almost never the real story, and how getting curious instead of frustrated can completely change your relationship with the students who challenge you most. If you've ever felt guilty for thinking a student just doesn't care, this one's for you.

Want more Educate & Rejuvenate delivered to your email inbox each week? Sign up for our emails at educateandrejuvenate.com/teacherbrainbreak

What happens when you’re teaching full time, raising kids, caring for aging parents, and trying to keep approximately a million other plates spinning? In this episode, Kelsey is joined by Joe Vitale and Jamie Wanko, hosts of The Balancing Act Podcast, for a funny, honest conversation about what it really looks like to admit: you don’t have to do it all.

Recorded live at Summer Refresh, this conversation gets into the “sandwich generation” of teaching, parenting, and caregiving, why your Teacher Brain follows you home, and how to intentionally let go of things that no longer serve you. Joe and Jamie share practical strategies they’re using in their own lives, from deciding things ahead of time and habit stacking to Jamie’s brilliant “Dear September Jamie” email and the simple family rule of “notice and do.”

You’ll also hear how small transition rituals can help you shift out of teacher mode and actually be present at home, why self-care doesn’t have to look like someone else’s version of self-care, and what pickleball injuries, pointing memes, and one truly unforgettable Zoom mishap have to do with any of it.

If you’ve been feeling pulled in every direction this back-to-school season, this episode will make you laugh, help you feel a little less alone, and remind you that sometimes creating more balance isn’t about figuring out how to carry everything. It’s deciding what you can finally put down.

What if you could lighten your load this school year without hiring a personal assistant?

In this episode, Kelsey shares practical ways to delegate more, from collaborating with your teaching team and creating better systems at home to using done-for-you resources, technology, and AI. You’ll rethink what delegation actually means and discover ways to free up your time and brain space without trying to do everything yourself.

Your challenge: What’s ONE thing you could delegate this school year?

Does your back-to-school to-do list make you want to pull your hair out? In this episode, Kelsey breaks down the Urgency Matrix, a simple but powerful tool for separating what's actually urgent from what just feels urgent thanks to teacher brain running the show.

Kelsey walks through all four categories of the matrix (urgent & important, not urgent & important, urgent & not important, and not urgent & not important) with real, relatable examples including the time she accidentally showed hundreds of teachers her messy closet mid-presentation. You'll come away with a clear framework for deciding what needs your attention right now, what deserves a scheduled time slot, what can be delegated, and what you can simply let go of this season.

This episode is part of the first phase of the Inside Out Teacher Framework: observe. Once you can see the pattern your mind is running, you get to choose differently and that's exactly what this episode helps you do.

Stay tuned next week for a follow-up episode on delegation, and don't miss the brand-new interview with Joe and Jamie from The Balancing Act Podcast, recorded live at Summer Refresh.

Want more? Sign up for the free Teacher Brain Break newsletter for weekly episode updates plus original coaching thoughts you won't find anywhere else: educateandrejuvenate.com/teacherbrainbreak

Ever wonder what actually changes when a teacher finally sets a boundary? In this episode, Kelsey shares a panel she hosted live at the Educate & Rejuvenate Summer Refresh, featuring a group of teachers (and one homeschool mom!) from the Educate & Rejuvenate Club. Each of them answers one simple question: what's one thing you did this year that actually changed something for you?

Their answers weren't scripted, just honest, in-the-trenches reflections from women learning to leave work at work, let a hard day be a hard day, and say no without guilt. Whether you're teaching in a classroom, homeschooling from your kitchen table, or somewhere in between, you'll likely see yourself in at least one of these stories.