『Why Your Child Pushes You Away When They Need You Most — An EFFT Conversation with Corien Boers』のカバーアート

Why Your Child Pushes You Away When They Need You Most — An EFFT Conversation with Corien Boers

Why Your Child Pushes You Away When They Need You Most — An EFFT Conversation with Corien Boers

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When your child is struggling — really struggling, in a way that scares you — the hardest part is often not what is happening with your child. It is the helplessness. The fear that no matter how much you love them you cannot reach them. And what Emotionally Focused Therapy calls "attachment panic" — the state a parent enters when their child is suffering and emotionally unreachable.In this episode Michelle sits down with Corien Boers — certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and supervisor from the Netherlands with over 25 years of experience working with families, including deep clinical work with children and adolescents navigating eating disorders — for one of the most moving and clinically grounded conversations on the podcast.Corien introduces the concept of "professional nearness" — the idea that being genuinely touched by a family's pain is more powerful than professional helping — and shares what happens to the parent-child bond when a child is in crisis and the parent's loving intent comes out sideways as control, rigidity, or anxiety. She also offers something that every parent of a struggling child needs to hear: when a child pushes you away, storms off, or shuts down completely — they are almost never saying "I don't need you." They are saying "I am overwhelmed and I do not know how to reach for you."This episode is for any parent whose child is going through something hard — not only families navigating eating disorders, but any parent who has ever felt shut out, helpless, or terrified that their love is not reaching their child.In this episode you'll learn:What Emotionally Focused Therapy calls attachment panic — and how it shapes everything a parent does when their child is sufferingWhy a child who pushes you away, goes silent, or becomes oppositional is sending an attachment signal — not a rejectionWhat professional nearness means — and why it changes the therapeutic relationship and the parent-child relationshipHow an eating disorder can become a child's safe haven when the family cycle feels threatening — and what shifts when a parent can move from fear and control toward connectionWhat to say — and what not to say — when your child storms off or refuses to engageWhy "I love you too" said lightly is more connecting than "I love you" said with urgencyHow to stay present and protect all your children simultaneously when one child is in crisisCorien's three-word practice for parents in their hardest moments: Stop. Listen. Feel.Topics: Emotionally Focused Family Therapy · EFFT · Emotionally Focused Therapy · EFT for families · eating disorders and family therapy · adolescent eating disorders · attachment panic · parent-child disconnection · parenting a struggling child · child mental health · teen mental health · parent anxiety and fear · helplessness in parenting · family bonds under pressure · gentle parenting · peaceful parenting · conscious parenting · attachment parenting · child withdrawal · oppositional behavior · family repair · professional nearnessGuest: Corien Boers — Living in the Netherlands. Married and mother of three. She started her career working with disabled children. From there, she began working in a youth psychiatric hospital and became a family therapist in the inpatient and outpatient units that treated children with an eating disorder. After a few years, she made the transition to adult psychiatry while remaining in the field of eating disorders. Not only in the Netherlands, but she also worked at the intensive treatment program for adults with eating disorders, "Be-Leef," in Portugal. Currently, she works in her own practice and provides counseling to couples and individuals.She is an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist supervisor and a sidekick trainer for the EFCT training programs.She is passionate about strengthening connections within families and relationships. Giving people a voice—about themselves, to themselves, and to the people they love.https://www.praktijkcorien.nl/englishversioncorien@praktijkcorien.nl✨ Free Guided Pause + Regroup: https://link.innovorise.com/widget/form/Pm5Uy0ezEwlL8Ik \🌐 compassionateheartparenting.comThis content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. Compassionate Heart Parenting does not provide psychotherapy services.Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting.You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day.A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in ...
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