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Why You Feel Guilty Having a Good Day When They’re Having a Bad One | Enmeshment Explained

Some call it love. Others call it nosy and all up in your business. But what do you call it when your loyalty runs so deep you can’t tell where your feelings end and someone else’s begin?
If you’ve ever felt guilty for enjoying a good day because someone close to you was having a bad one, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore enmeshment, a family dynamic named by Dr. Salvador Minuchin, one of the founders of structural family therapy, where boundaries blur so much that people lose their sense of identity and self. Enmeshment often looks like loyalty. It can show up with a parent, a partner, a sibling or a friend.

You’ll learn:

• What enmeshment looks like in everyday life, from guilt over boundaries to absorbing someone else’s bad mood
• Where enmeshment comes from: intergenerational trauma, cultural expectations of self-sacrifice, and limited mental health support
• Why the people closest to you push back when you start setting boundaries
• Three transitions for undoing enmeshment: expect the shock, separate your feelings from theirs, and reclaim your identity
• A simple practice: observe what others feel, and decide what’s yours to carry
• A guided 4-4-6 breathing exercise to help your nervous system feel safe

In Tea Time, we unpack a real comment from a woman finding herself again after enmeshed parents, raising two children and a 16-year marriage..

This episode is for education and is not a substitute for working with a licensed therapist.

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