Why We Learn to Abandon Ourselves to Belong | Mark Brayne
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Why We Learn to Abandon Ourselves to Belong | Mark Brayne
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Why do we learn to make ourselves smaller, put other people’s needs first, or believe that something is fundamentally wrong with us?
In this conversation, Alexandra Stevens speaks with psychotherapist and former foreign correspondent Mark Brayne about how our earliest relationships shape our sense of safety, identity and belonging. They explore how family patterns travel across generations, why children often take responsibility for the distress of the adults around them, and how shame can become a kind of “survival armour”—helping us preserve connection when we are too young to survive without it.
They also discuss the experience of feeling caught between identities, the influence of culture and collective history, and what it means to stop passing inherited pain to the next generation. This is ultimately a conversation about understanding the stories that made us—not so that we remain trapped in the past, but so that we can meet the present differently and create a different future.