Why do so many strong, accomplished women still struggle to speak up — in relationships, at work, and in leadership? In this episode of Inner Voice – A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan, Dr. Foojan Zeine sits down with renowned couples therapist, psychotherapist, and author Tonya Lester, author of “Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself,” to unpack why women so often silence themselves despite being raised to be independent, confident, and capable. Tonya shares how women frequently become emotional “shock absorbers” in relationships — softening their needs, avoiding conflict, and shrinking their voice to keep the peace. Together, she and Dr. Foojan explore the hidden patterns that lead to resentment and disconnection, why healthy conflict is essential for real intimacy, and how emotional maturity changes the way we communicate — at home and in the workplace. In This Episode You’ll Learn: ✔ Why successful women often lose their voice in relationships ✔ The hidden cost of people-pleasing and “shock absorbing” ✔ How to communicate assertively without anger or blame ✔ The difference between emotional maturity and emotional reactivity ✔ Why resentment grows when needs go unspoken ✔ How healthy conflict builds deeper love, trust, and intimacy ✔ Communication strategies for couples, leaders, and professionals ✔ How to set boundaries without damaging the relationship ✔ Why knowing your self-worth changes every conversation Timestamps: 0:00 – Intro: the pattern of “shock absorbing” in relationships 1:41 – About the International Awareness Integration Institute virtual clinic 2:54 – Foojan App update: flexible plans & AI-driven onboarding 4:22 – Welcome & introducing Tonya Lester and her book, Push Back 6:48 – Foojan App listener testimonial 7:22 – Mind-body & somatic services at Awareness Integration 8:44 – Interview begins: welcoming Tonya to the show 8:57 – Why Push Back focuses on women’s patterns 9:22 – How Tonya discovered this pattern in herself and clients 10:40 – What “shock absorbing” really looks like 14:36 – What it means to “be an adult” in a relationship 17:16 – Getting clear, concise, and direct about your needs 19:02 – What to do when your partner pushes back or resists 22:30 – How to prepare yourself before a hard conversation 24:58 – When and how to push back in the moment 26:54 – Anger vs. true assertiveness 29:16 – Do women hold back at work the same way as at home? 31:22 – Being labeled “difficult” for speaking up 34:05 – Grappling issues vs. deal-breakers: when to stay or go 36:01 – Advice for more traditional or patriarchal relationship dynamics 38:41 – Final thoughts: why speaking up creates real intimacy 39:44 – Where to find Tonya Lester 40:12 – Become AIT certified: training for therapists & coaches About Tonya Lester: Tonya Lester, LCSW, is a Brooklyn-based couples therapist, psychotherapist, and author of “Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself.” Her New York Times Modern Love essay “Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself” and her Psychology Today column “Staying Sane Inside Insanity” have made her a go-to voice on relationships and communication. Her work has been featured in The Guardian, Newsweek, Well+Good, HuffPost, Fatherly, and Bumble’s The Buzz. Ready to find your own voice? Visit awarenessintegration.com to book a session with a licensed therapist or coach, or explore our psychotherapy, coaching, and mind-body services designed to help you feel seen, heard, and supported. 👍 Like, subscribe, and share to help more people build healthier, more honest relationships. Keywords: relationships, communication skills, healthy relationships, couples therapy, emotional intelligence, emotional maturity, boundaries, self-worth, women’s empowerment, relationship advice, conflict resolution, marriage advice, dating advice, assertive communication, people pleasing, self-esteem, leadership for women, workplace communication, emotional health, psychology, therapy podcast, Dr. Foojan, Tonya Lester, Push Back book, modern relationships, intimacy, marriage communication, personal growth, mental health podcast