Why do so many men struggle in silence, and why do some traditional approaches to men’s mental health fail to reach the blokes who need support most?

In this episode of Hard Ground, Mary O’Brien, founder of Are You Bogged Mate?, joins rural shearer and sheep farmer Tom to unpack the reality of rural men’s mental health, suicide prevention, male loneliness, vulnerability, brotherhood, and asking for help. Mary explains why she believes men aren’t incapable of opening up, they often need a different environment, different language, and people they can genuinely relate to.

Tom shares the deeply personal impact of losing his father to suicide, recognising his own mental health struggles years later, and eventually attending one of Are You Bogged Mate?’s Bog Breaks. What he found wasn’t simply another conversation about feelings. He found a network of men who understood what it meant to be struggling and were willing to stand beside each other after the weekend ended.

This conversation explores why connection, purpose, community, practical mental health support, mateship, male identity and peer support could be critical pieces of the men’s mental health conversation—particularly in regional, rural and remote Australia.

Highlights

→ Why men may communicate differently about mental health. Mary explains why sitting face-to-face and demanding vulnerability may not work for every bloke, and why conversations while driving, walking or working shoulder-to-shoulder can sometimes feel more natural.

→ What makes Bog Breaks different? You’ll hear how Are You Bogged Mate? brings struggling men together for several days, removes the financial barriers to attending, and intentionally builds a support network that continues long after they return home.

→ What struggling looked like for Tom. Tom describes poor sleep, constant stress, increased drinking and a growing sense that life felt pointless—and why losing his father to suicide made him realise he needed to address what was happening before it became worse.

→ Why brotherhood may be one of the missing pieces. The conversation explores the value of having other men you can call on a bad day without feeling like a burden, along with the role older men can play in guiding and supporting younger men.