Matthew Jandernoa believes many men know what the right thing is… but don’t really know their own hearts.

In this conversation, we explore what happens when fatherhood exposes the parts of ourselves we’d rather avoid. We talk about frustration, patience, humility, comparison, healing, and why becoming a better dad starts long before becoming a dad at all.

Matthew shares a powerful story from his time as a missionary that changed how he viewed himself forever, explains why “offer it up” never quite landed for him, and challenges us to stop focusing on our failures and start focusing on who we’re becoming.
Along the way we discuss:

🔹 Why many fathers get trapped in self-criticism
🔹 The connection between patience and hope
🔹 How parents unintentionally teach learned helplessness
🔹 Why your children need space to struggle
🔹 The difference between trusting your heart and following every desire
🔹 How humility can actually increase life satisfaction
🔹 What it means to become the man your family needs

This is a conversation about fatherhood, but it’s also a conversation about being human.

Matthew Jandernoa
Founder of Steadfast Life, husband, father of two with a third on the way.

⚡ You are not your failures. Focusing on your shortcomings creates a feedback loop that makes growth harder.

⚡ Patience is more than waiting. It’s an unwillingness to be overcome by suffering and the ability to see potential where it isn’t fully realized yet.

⚡ Children need opportunities to struggle. Constantly rescuing them teaches learned helplessness instead of resilience.

⚡ The heart contains both good desires and disordered desires. The goal isn’t suppressing the heart but helping direct it toward what is truly good.

⚡ Holiness and fatherhood aren’t destinations. They’re continual acts of returning to who you’re called to become.

⚡ Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s becoming genuinely happy when good things happen, whether or not they happen to you.

“The Christian life is perpetual conversion back to God.”

“Patience is an unwillingness to be overcome by sorrow.”

“A good father would also be a good single person.”

“The whole point of parenting is helping our kids aim what comes from the heart, not suppress it.”

“Every time your wife or kids make you angry, it’s an opportunity to help them remember who they truly are.”

Website: https://www.steadfastlife.net/

In this episode of Why, Dad?, Paul and Andrew tackle a question every parent eventually faces:

What is the real purpose of education?

Starting with Paul's search for the best educational path for his children, the conversation quickly moves beyond public school vs. homeschool and into a deeper discussion about what education is actually supposed to accomplish.

The hosts challenge the idea that education is simply about getting good grades, earning degrees, or preparing for a career. Instead, they explore whether true education should teach children:

• How to think critically
• How to learn independently
• How to pursue curiosity
• How to discover their unique gifts and potential
• How to become better human beings

Along the way, they debate everything from homeschooling and public schools to trade education, college, AI, mathematics, and the difference between being "educated" and simply performing well in school.

The conversation ultimately lands on a central idea:

There is no one-size-fits-all educational path. The best education is the one that helps a child become the fullest version of themselves while cultivating a lifelong love of learning.

For parents, the challenge isn't blindly trusting a system—it's staying engaged, asking questions, and helping their children discover how they learn best.

Summary:
How do we raise boys into good men when the world seems confused about what a good man even is?

In this episode, Paul and Andrew sit down with Shaun Dawson, host of Raising Men, to talk about modern masculinity, brotherhood, emotional safety, ego in parenting, and what boys need from the men around them.

Show Notes:
How do we raise boys into good men when the world seems confused about what a good man even is?

In this episode, Paul and Andrew sit down with Shaun Dawson, host of Raising Men, to talk about modern masculinity, brotherhood, emotional safety, ego in parenting, and what boys need from the men around them.

Shaun shares a painfully relatable dad story about watching his son at basketball practice and realizing his frustration had more to do with his own ego than his son’s performance. From there, the conversation opens into a bigger question: what does it actually mean to model healthy masculinity for our kids?

We talk about:
• Why dads can get triggered when their kids struggle in public
• The difference between preparing the child for the road and clearing every obstacle
• Why men often want to open up but don’t feel safe doing it
• How brotherhood has to be rebuilt intentionally
• Why boys need worthy men around them, not just lectures about manhood
• How fathers can create a “castle” where their families can thrive
• Why cultivating excellence in our kids starts with cultivating it in ourselves

Guest:
Shaun Dawson is a husband, father of two, tech leader, and host of Raising Men, a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and raising sons into men of courage, character, and purpose.

Links:
Raising Men: https://raising.men/
About Shaun Dawson: https://raising.men/about-shaun-dawson
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1HdOjO18HibC17XnyrFOv5
Steve Biddulph: https://www.stevebiddulph.com/Site_1/Home.html

Call to Action:
If this episode made you think of a dad, uncle, coach, mentor, or friend who is trying to raise good men, send it their way. And if you’re enjoying Why, Dad?, follow the show and leave a review. It helps other dads find these conversations.