Why does speaking up feel so uncomfortable, even when you know you have every right to say what you think?

Maybe you soften your opinions before you say them. You over-explain your boundaries. You worry that disagreeing makes you difficult. Or you finally speak up, then replay the conversation for hours afterward.

What if that fear didn't begin in adulthood?

In this episode of Not Good Enough Stuff, licensed professional counselor Mary Beth Fox explores the childhood roots of self-silencing and how early messages about being nice, polite, agreeable, and respectful can shape people-pleasing, boundaries, conflict avoidance, self-doubt, and the fear of speaking up later in life.

We tell people to “find their voice” and stand up for themselves. But there's a question we don't ask nearly enough:

What did speaking up once cost you?

Maybe the question isn't why you're afraid to use your voice.

Maybe it's where you learned to be afraid of it.

00:00 Introduction: The societal view of women's voices

01:05 How girls are taught to be polite and agreeable

02:51 The roots of self-doubt and silence in women

04:35 Internalized beliefs about being liked and accepted

06:36 The tree metaphor: roots and branches of beliefs

08:19 The double bind: confidence versus politeness

10:00 Respect versus obedience in communication

11:35 Questioning the rules learned about having a voice

12:54 Reflecting on personal beliefs and empowering change

Resources & Links:

🌐 Visit: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/

Download your FREE Not Good Enough Guide here: https://www.theinnerchildtherapist.com/free-guide-to-feeling-enough/

Connect with Me:
▶️ YouTube: @notgoodenoughstuff
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theinnerchildtherapist
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@theinnerchildtherapist
📘 Facebook: https://facebook.com/TICT.MaryBethFox
💼 LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marybethfox

If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps more people begin questioning the messages they never chose to believe.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or medical advice, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support for your unique situation, please connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Music Attribution:

Music licensed through Soundstripe

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