Who told you that you couldn't make mistakes? That you had to hold your emotions in? That being a good parent meant putting yourself last? That you couldn't trust people? That looking a certain way was necessary to be attractive?

And perhaps the bigger question: Do you still believe it?

In this episode of Pleasure & Pain, Tameika and Dawn take a deeply personal look at the core beliefs they've carried into adulthood and the experiences that helped create them. Using a core-beliefs assessment as a starting point, the two explore how much of what we believe about ourselves, our relationships, parenting, success, money, appearance, trust, and even joy can be traced back to what we experienced, observed, and absorbed growing up.

The conversation gets honest about perfectionism, punishment, shame, emotional restraint, the pressure placed on mothers to sacrifice their own happiness, and the expectations women can inherit around appearance and relationships. But it also explores the other side of the equation: how beliefs can evolve, how difficult experiences can sometimes produce unexpected strengths, and how we can consciously decide what we want to carry into the next generation.

It's a conversation about childhood, but ultimately it's about adulthood.

Because sometimes the most important question isn't "Why am I like this?"

It's:"Who told me this was the way I had to be?"

Chapters:

0:00 Welcome to Pleasure & Pain

3:55 What's New? Life Updates & A Little Internet Drama

12:44 Who Told You That?! Confronting Our Core Beliefs

16:49 The Beliefs We Learn as Children

24:02 Shame, Discipline & Perfectionism

29:55 "Delay the Joy" & The Pressure on Mothers

36:00 Relationships, Roles & What We Expect From Our Partners

47:51 Can Our Core Beliefs Change?

48:29 Attraction, Appearance & "A Mind at Work"

55:59 "You Can't Trust Anyone"

58:21 Vulnerability, Receiving & Letting People In

1:01:03 What Our Beliefs Mean for the Next Generation

1:04:23 And I Quote...

1:07:49 Would You Rather?

1:10:49 Get Us to Oprah & Final Thoughts