“Meet me at the gate, Nate.”

In this first half of our conversation, Leah Sweetman shares the story of her son Nathan—a bright, imaginative, strong-willed young man who brought both great joy and deep challenges to their family. As Leah introduces us to Nathan, we begin to understand not only who he was, but the complexity of the road he walked.

From an early age, Nathan struggled with behavioral and mental health challenges that eventually led to addiction. Leah speaks candidly about the impact this had on their family—the fear, the chaos, the exhaustion, and the deep love that never wavered.

This episode also explores what it means to surrender when your child is struggling and you cannot fix it. Leah shares how God met her in those moments of desperation and began teaching her what true surrender looks like—not giving up, but placing her son into God’s hands.

You’ll also hear the story behind the phrase Leah now carries with her: “Meet me at the gate, Nate.” A simple expression that holds both grief and the steady hope of reunion.

This is an honest and powerful beginning to a story that many will recognize in pieces of their own.

If this episode resonates with you, please consider sharing it with another grieving parent. And if you haven’t already, leaving a rating or review helps others find hope in the midst of loss.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

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Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

In this episode of the While We’re Waiting – Hope After Child Loss podcast, I continue my conversation with Kirsten Black, author of the Faithful Paradox blog.

In Part One, Kirsten shared about her son Ezra, his battle with leukemia, and the early realities of grief that reshaped her life and faith. Today, we pick up where we left off, continuing our discussion of her blog post, “10 Things That Are Different From What I Expected.” Listen HERE to Part One of our conversation.

Today Kirsten offers honest insight into some of the more complex and often unexpected aspects of grief—especially within the context of family, faith, and daily life.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How family members often grieve differently—and how to extend grace in those differences
• Why healing can bring its own kind of sorrow
• The difference between joy and happiness in the midst of grief
• The quiet, ongoing reminders of loss in everyday life
• Why faith does not necessarily make grief feel easier
• The desire to be “unknown”—and why that doesn’t remove the pain
• Learning to live without clear answers or understanding
• The reality that hard days still come, even years later

Kirsten also shares reflections from her third year of grief, including a deepened longing for heaven, a shift in how she views grief—not as something to overcome, but something to gently carry—and the reminder that truth does not always bring immediate comfort, but it is still worth holding onto.

Toward the end of the episode, Kirsten offers thoughtful encouragement for parents who are in the early days of grief, reminding them that this journey is a marathon, not a sprint, and that they do not have to walk it alone.

This conversation is both honest and hopeful—a reminder that while grief changes us, God remains faithful, even in the tension we don’t fully understand.

Links & Resources

Visit Kirsten's blog here: Faithful Paradox Blog

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

In this episode of the While We’re Waiting – Hope After Child Loss podcast, Jill Sullivan begins a two-part conversation with Kirsten Black, author of the Faithful Paradox blog.

Kirsten shares about her son Ezra, a gifted musician and passionate soccer player who had a remarkable ability to make people feel seen and loved. In 2021, Ezra became sick and was eventually diagnosed with leukemia. After a difficult fourteen-month battle that included intense chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant, Ezra went to heaven in September of 2022.

About a year and a half later, Kirsten began writing about her grief journey through her blog, Faithful Paradox. In it, she explores the tension many grieving believers experience—the reality that we know God’s promises are true, yet in the middle of suffering those truths can feel confusing, distant, or difficult to reconcile with our pain.

In this first half of our conversation, Kirsten shares about Ezra’s life, his cancer journey, and the honest prayers she wrestled through during those months. We also begin discussing a blog post she wrote titled “10 Things That Are Different From What I Expected,” reflecting on the surprising ways grief reshapes our lives.

Together we explore some of those unexpected realities, including:

• The mistaken belief that grief has a timeline
• How the loss of a child fundamentally changes who we are
• The realization that grief is not just an event—it becomes part of us

Kirsten’s reflections are thoughtful, honest, and deeply relatable for grieving parents who are trying to hold on to faith in the middle of profound loss.

This conversation reminds us that grief and faith often exist together in tension—a faithful paradox.

In the next episode, we’ll continue walking through the rest of Kirsten’s “ten things” and talk about what she has learned in the years since Ezra went to heaven.

Links & Resources

Faithful Paradox Blog: faithfulparadox.com

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

If you’re a regular listener, you know that we typically feature conversations with parents who have experienced the loss of a child on this podcast. However, when a good friend posted a link to this sermon on Romans 8:28 in our private “While We're Waiting – Support for Bereaved Parents” Facebook group a couple weeks ago, I knew it was something I wanted to share with you.

Kirk Miller is the speaker, and he is a member of Redeemer Church in Huntsville, Alabama. He’s a former pastor and church planter and now is editor of digital content at Logos where he edits and writes for Word by Word.

I wanted to share this because I know what a complicated relationship many bereaved parents have with Romans 8:28! This often is the first verse that those who are trying to help a grieving parent will quote.

Kirk acknowledges how this verse, offered too quickly, can feel less like a lifeline and more like a slap in the face—rushing sufferers toward a silver lining, dismissing real pain, or subtly implying that ongoing grief is a failure of faith.

In this episode, Kirk will offer six clarifications on what this this scripture means – and does not mean – for those who are suffering. I pray that this sermon both enlightens and encourages you, just like it did for me.

While we’re waiting to see our children again, may the Lord hold you close and strengthen your heart.

Click HERE to watch this sermon on YouTube.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

"God doesn’t ask us to live the whole story at once. He walks us through it chapter by chapter.”

In this second half of my conversation with Tricia Patrick, we move beyond the events of February 2014 and into the long journey that followed the loss of her son Jeremy to suicide.

Tricia describes those early days as a fog — returning to work just ten days after Jeremy went to heaven, sitting with her Bible open and unable to process the words, and simply trying to survive one hour at a time. And yet, even in the fog, she kept showing up.

What she discovered over time is something many grieving parents need to hear: God did not require her to process everything at once. He walked her through grief in chapters.

A chapter might last weeks or months. One season focused on survival. Another on Scripture. Later, she was able to face the complicated layers unique to suicide loss — the stigma, the anger, the cultural triggers, and the difficult questions. She didn’t have to solve it all in the beginning. God was gracious to let her heal one layer at a time.

This is an honest conversation about suicide loss, but it is also a conversation about endurance, Scripture, worship, and a Shepherd who carries His lambs close to His heart.

If you are in the early chapters of grief, please hear this: you do not have to resolve every question today. You do not have to face every layer at once. God is patient. He is gentle. And He will walk with you through each chapter — one at a time.

Click HERE to find Tricia's "Sharing Jeremy's Joy" Facebook page and get involved!

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

“You don’t have to resolve every layer of grief at once. God works in chapters.”

Today's episode begins a two-part conversation with my new friend Tricia Patrick. In this first episode, you’ll get to know her son Jeremy — a miracle baby, a football-loving, bow-tie wearing, big-hearted young man who adored children and dreamed of opening an orphanage one day. You’ll hear about the complicated years following her divorce, the restoration that came after Jeremy placed his faith in Christ, and the devastating night in February 2014 when everything changed.

This is an honest conversation about suicide loss, about surrendering a child into God’s hands, and about trusting Him even when the outcome isn’t what we prayed for.

Be sure to come back for Part Two next week, when we move into the years after Jeremy went to heaven. Tricia will speak candidly about the early fog of grief — returning to work just days later, sitting with her Bible open and unable to process the words, and wrestling with the stigma and complicated emotions that often accompany suicide loss. She'll also explain how God gently allowed her to process her grief in “chapters,” addressing one layer at a time rather than forcing her to face everything at once.

This is an honest and hope-filled conversation about suicide loss, surrender, healing over time, and the faithfulness of a Good Shepherd who carries us — and our children — close to His heart.

If you are in the early days of grief, please know you are not alone. You don’t have to figure it all out right now. God is patient. He is gentle. And He will walk with you through every chapter.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

If you’ve lost your song, that doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.

In this second half of my conversation with Kristi Kirk, we focus on what healing can look like over time after devastating loss. Kristi reflects on the long road of grief following the death of both her husband and her son, and how her faith, perspective, and purpose have been slowly reshaped.

Kristi shares what it meant to walk through her son’s senior year without him, how fear gradually loosened its grip, and how she learned to live forward without leaving her son behind. She speaks honestly about the difference between feelings and truth, and how anchoring herself in God’s Word became essential as faith was rebuilt.

This episode also explores worship and music—how Kristi lost her song after loss, and how it returned in time as a quiet expression of healing. Along the way, she offers practical wisdom for those in early grief, encouragement to stay connected to community, and permission to lament without shame.

Rather than offering a neat resolution, this conversation affirms that grief remains—and reminds us that though we may be shaken, we are not abandoned by God.

Click HERE to connect with Kristi!

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

When life no longer feels safe or predictable, trust in God can feel fragile.

In this first half of my conversation with Kristi Kirk, we talk about what it means to be shaken to the core by loss—and how faith can be tested, reshaped, and rebuilt in the aftermath.

Kristi shares her story of profound grief, including the sudden death of her husband and, less than two years later, the loss of her 18-year-old son, PK. She speaks honestly about fear, trauma, and the struggle to trust God when life no longer feels secure and the future feels uncertain.

This episode focuses on the early terrain of grief: the shock, the unanswered questions, and the fear that “the next shoe might drop.” Kristi reflects on how losing her assumptions about protection and control led her into a deeper, more honest relationship with God—one marked by lament, transparency, and the slow work of learning to separate feelings from truth.

Rather than offering easy answers, this conversation makes space for grief as it really is, while holding onto the truth that even when our faith feels shaken, God has not abandoned us.

To connect with Kristi, visit her website HERE.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org