A woman who has followed me for years sent me a message. It was thoughtful, apologetic, and firm: something about Cam, on the internet, was setting off a familiar alarm. It had happened before with a partner of her own.

I read the whole thing out loud at the dinner table.

We read it out loud again here, in full, and then respond to every piece of it on the record. No trimming to the flattering parts.

The strange part is the timing. That same afternoon, Cam had told me he thought his online self was running at a much lower frequency than his actual self, and that he only ever posts at the low point of his day. Then a stranger, hours later, held up the evidence.

In this episode:

- Cam on the specific feeling of learning you have hurt someone you love through a habit you were never conscious of

- My read on why the man I live with is only ever like that in one place, and what he does immediately after hitting post

- The question we land on for anyone weighing an outside concern about their own relationship: not "are they right," but a much more revealing test involving what you tell your friends

I also answer the harder worry underneath the message, about whether my light is being dimmed, and name what I have actually experienced with men who could not handle me.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board