When I Closed My Eyes
カートのアイテムが多すぎます
カートに追加できませんでした。
ウィッシュリストに追加できませんでした。
ほしい物リストの削除に失敗しました。
ポッドキャストのフォローに失敗しました
ポッドキャストのフォロー解除に失敗しました
When I Closed My Eyes
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Trigger Warning: Medical trauma, childhood fear, anxiety, hypervigilance
What happens to a child's mind when doctors and nurses repeatedly invade their body and sleep without consent?
This bonus episode bridges The Exacerbation and The Feeding Tube. It's the story of what I didn't talk about in the main series: the bat under my bed, the nightly combat planning, the terror of closed eyes, and how I learned to sneak undetected into my parents' room just to feel safe.
For years, I couldn't understand why I was so hypervigilant. Why I couldn't relax. Why I refused help even when I was dying. Now, at 54, I understand: the hospital trained me to be afraid. And I've spent my whole life carrying the bat in different forms.
This is the episode about how medical trauma creates survival strategies that both save you and destroy you. It's dark. It's vulnerable. And it's the key to understanding everything that comes after.