Picture a child learning to swim. Small fingers are wrapped tight around the edge of the pool, and everyone in the water is calling out, "Come on, you can do it, just let go," while that little one holds on for dear life.

As long as they hold the edge, they're safe and nothing bad happens to them. They also can't swim, so the very thing keeping them safe is the same thing keeping them from what they came there to do.

So many of the adults I've worked with over 20+ years are still holding the edge of the pool, in their relationships, in the roles they play, in the plans they made at 25, and in versions of themselves they've already outgrown.

Holding on tends to wear a convincing disguise. It shows up as loyalty, commitment, love, and being the responsible one, which is exactly why it's so hard to spot from the inside.

And the grip is exhausting. Think about how tired that child's hands must be. When we hold on to something that no longer fits, part of us stays busy bracing and managing, and we call it stability long after it's started costing us.

So today I want to talk about what you might still be holding on to, and what it actually takes to loosen your grip.

Inside this podcast episode, I walk you through:

• Why the brain treats the familiar as safe, even when the familiar is painful

• What we're usually holding on to, and why it's rarely the thing we think

• The difference between holding something with an open hand and holding it with a clenched fist

• Why letting go happens one finger at a time instead of in one dramatic moment

• How grief fits into letting go, even when what's coming next is better

• The two questions to sit with this week, starting with what you may have already outgrown

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Dr. Shyamala Kiru is a former psychotherapist of 20 years and the founder of Kiru Psychotherapy Clinic and the Cognitive Freedom Method™.

Through her work in leadership development, practitioner training, and clinical practice (now retired), she teaches a structured framework for understanding and transforming the cognitive patterns that shape how we think, lead, and relate.

📘 The Emotionally Intelligent Woman Available on Amazon and Chapters Indigo

🎧 The Dr. Shyamala Show Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

Learn more at:

• Grab Our Free Parenting Guide: https://drshyam.myflodesk.com/parenting-guide

• https://kirupsychotherapy.com

• https://www.cognitive-freedom.com/

Real freedom begins when you understand your mind.

Where to Connect:

• My Clinic: Kiru Psychotherapy: https://kirupsychotherapy.com

• Learn More About The Cognitive Freedom Method™: https://www.cognitive-freedom.com/

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